Saturday, October 18, 2014

Should I come out?

A week or so ago was coming out day. I would come out except everyone already knows that I am a Mormon.

As I am sure you are familiar if you have read much on this blog, I am a gay man. I am Mormon, active and honest with my bishop, and I have a temple recommend that I got the right way.  My wife knows about me -- probably more about me than I would choose to have anyone know about me.  There is a certain freedom to that.  There is also a certain horror to that.

I have often considered what it means to come out as a gay man.  Generally, I have great admiration for those who come out -- letting everyone know what they are about -- at least sexually.

I remember the media coverage when Ellen came out.  I remember how her sitcom went from pretty decent ratings to the cellar in a month. I would like to think it was because the writing suddenly tanked, but it was because she had come out as gay.   Even my liberal friends said at the time that they felt the show was all about her gay-ness and they weren't interested.

Now, there is nothing hidden.  Her spouse is on the show every once in a while, and there is no mincing around.  Ellen is a Lesbian, and she makes no apologies.  If you don't like it, then good for you and she doesn't care.

I like the show and I like her and I wish she would have me on the show as a Marmoho  -- a married Mormon homo -- worthy of tickets to Disneyland and 5000 spending money to get my teeth fixed.

Which raises a question.  Would I come out as my real name instead of Cal Thompson, pseudonym of the buff and brainy whatever-my real-name is?

This may be the day for it.  I have written a book about my experience with homosexuality and the Mormon church that I feel would be a benefit to everyone involved, and It may have a bit more umphh to it if I used my real name so people could put a name to a mediocre face.  I am certainly strong enough to deal with whatever would come my way, and my kids are almost grown and out of the home, so that may not be an issue either.

I would love to be able to show that I have a viewpoint and I am strong and I am gay and I believe in the Mormon Church thoroughly and that I am married and plan on staying that way.

It's not all that rare this day and age, but not a lot of people talk about it, so few know how common that it is.

Here is the major drawback.  My wife doesn't want the world in her bedroom, and the world would be in our bedroom if I came out.  I don't know how to talk about my "stuff" without it having to do with her "stuff".  

Until then, the day that my outing won't effect her may be some time coming. (What if I came out and then my wife and I moved to Rigby Idaho?)

Thursday, October 16, 2014

My favorite L word

OK, I admit that she has been at the top on my list for a long time now, but I think that she is now, and will be for all time, my favorite Lesbian.

This video actually made me cry like a fat 47 year old baby

Sunday, October 12, 2014

I think I just coined a phrase! I'm The King of Marmohos!

MarMoHo.  It's my new word.

And I, myself, am king of the MarMoHos. Unfortunately, there are no cash prizes involved.  But the good news is that I already have a tiara.

I am a Married Mormon Homosexual.  That is, I am married to one of the opposite gender -- gay Mormon married man married to a wonderful woman.  She has always knows of my orientation because I told her before we ever dated.

And now it looks like we are going to be able to be sealed in the Temple.

We have had a bit of a struggle with church leaders over our wanting to be sealed.  Who'd have thunk?  former leaders of ours have questioned the appropriateness of our desire.  We have only been married for 15 years, after all.  It may be a little too soon.

Couples have been marrying for years -- couples that are opposite gender with one being a moho for YEARS and there has not been a question.  In fact, family members of mine with the same issue were discouraged to marry just one generation back.  I suppose no one even mentioned it to their church leaders before that.

I understand where our leaders are coming from.  The pendulum may have swung to the opposite side.  Instead of get married it will fix you, no they are saying, don't get married -- it wont work. However, I have said this with much respect, to our leaders:

My name is Cal Thompson and I am gay.  I am married to a woman who has completely different issues of her own.  I live with hers and she lives with mine, and we are OK with that.  We are true to each other, we have temple recommends received with honesty, and we wish to share the blessings that come from following the commandments of the Lord through his prophets.

Of course I could be getting myself worked up over nothing. This time, our bishop and stake president may not have a problem with following the church handbook.  OK, too passive aggressive. Let me try again...

This time, our bishop and stake president may not see the dissimilitudes between us and a "normal" couple. Maybe all our years of trying to do the right thing will be taken into consideration and I will be able to make my wife an honest woman.

And. no, you can't borrow my tiara.