Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Welcome To The Family. Now Take That Shirt Off

An increasing number of Latter-day Saint families are welcoming their homosexual children who are living in committed relationships into the family circle rather than disowning or becoming estranged from them. This sentence is a welcome relief for some and proof of the ending of the world as we know it for others. Which are you?

Friends can be fickle, families however try to be forever – especially Mormon ones. Accepting those whose belief systems are different than ours into our family organization is a big step and has been for centuries.

It is not our place nor has it ever been to forgive what we feel is one offence from Frank and to deny our forgiveness for Bob for something different. We are to forgive all. We are to accept all people.

There are several issues here the biggest for LDS families seems to be; how do I incorporate family members living a lifestyle different from what I want for my family as a whole (Possible translation: wrong) without exposing my children to ways of the world I would like to keep them from? How do I build or maintain a spiritual home that includes those who are acting in a way that seems in direct conflict with my standards?

The responsibility of acceptance is often put on the church as an organization. It is not the place of the church to accept or not accept those with different standards. It is the responsibility of those people in the church to serve, strengthen and protect members of their family regardless of individual members orientation, morals, propensity for repentance or status as smoking or non.

The Church does not reach out to individual members of our family or by the same token deny admittance into these family organizations. We do. We as people, brothers and sisters mothers and fathers either reach out to family members or we do not. We either believe that all men, if given the opportunity, have the potential to bless those around them – even those who live differently, or we do not believe.

A recent commentary on the LDS churches stance toward those with SGA stated that they would like to see the Church include and make welcome into our worship services and church community those of different orientation. It is a positive assertion, and one I agree with. It is an assertion that begs a different question however.

What are they talking about? Who is the church is it is not us? If we as fathers and mothers wish to accept these family members into our circles, who or what is there to stop us? Are there in our circles members of the family that have different outlooks on life and follow their volition? By accepting them as brothers and sisters, are we required to stamp them with our seal of approval for all of their choices? That has only been the case for those who are equating their family structure with a sorority club house or a football team.

Dad is a democrat, Mom likes diet coke, Susan likes to smoke, Frank is a Ute supporter and Bob likes guys.

We are still a family.


  1. It may be prudent for us to have him leave his shirt on. Just a thought

  2. I love this blog. It is so honest and it talks of things that not a lot of others talk of. Thankyou! PJ

  3. I like the idea that we are the ones who welocome people in or leave them out. I chooseto let them in!

  4. Wow is all I have to say. That was perfect!

  5. We have a family member who is actively pursuing a lesbian lifestyle, and so this question has come up for us. There has never been a question about do we still love her; of course we do! The question has been: how much of her choices and lifestyle do we allow to be brought in to our home and at what point does that start to teach our children that this lifestyle is acceptable when we don't believe that it is acceptable. It's a tough place to be.