Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Mormon gay Q&A

The suggestion was made that I should spend Sunday school time -- where I am supposed to teach about words of the prophets -- to instead answer questions about SGA/Homosexuality in the Mormon church. I think I will pass on that for several hundred reasons. 

Some questions I get and I think, "seriously?"  However, here is the place to ask the questions you think are too silly to put your name on. 

I am happy to open the blog up to these FAQ's and a statement or two -- including topics I have hit on in the past:  

Are openly gay teachers, professors, professionals and other role models dangerous because they will try to recruit people to homosexuality?   

Let us be clear: Any adult speaking of his or her sex life with a minor is not appropriate. But that is not what is being asked. It is not wrong for a teacher to acknowledge their sexuality. Some argue that students may wish to be like their teachers given their position of authority and prestige. Sex life being personal and private, of course they would. Or are we saving that honor for the rather dubious sporting figures and rock stars. Who better to mentor students that positive role models regardless of sexual attraction?  Any positive role model in a position of authority (such as in education, politics, religious institutions, the medical profession, etc.) by their very presence helps to dispel myths and prejudices.

Homosexuals want to lower the age of consent laws for sexual activity so that they can have access to young children and try to convert them. 

I have not heard this -- and I keep tabs.  Age of consent laws do not deal specifically with adult-child relations. These laws were created to prevent young people from having sex with each other. There is no justification for the existence of separate age of consent laws according to one's sexual orientation. Any audit-child sexual relationship regardless of the sexual orientation is wrong and is currently a criminal act.

Should gay people teach in church?  

I need more information to answer this question. I think good teachers should teach regardless of sexuality, race, gender, age, economic status or fashion sense. Is this person a good teacher? Has this person been called by the bishop?  Then, yes -- he should teach. For your information, there have been gay people in LDS leadership for years. Years.

Gay men tend to be pedophiles and child molesters 

This isn't really a question, but no and no. It's true that perpetrators of child sexual abuse are overwhelmingly men. The abuser is usually a member of the child's family or someone known by the family. Pedophiles, men who have a sexual preference for children, constitute less than 1% of the adult male population. Pedophiles are quite distinct from adult gay men who prefer an adult sexual partner just as heterosexual prefer an adult partner. Studies have shown no correlation between a man's sexual orientation and a tendency to sexually abuse children. Statically, Heterosexual men are twice as likely to sexually abuse children as homosexual men are. There is solid evidence that over 92% of child abuse cases, including same gender sexual abuse, are perpetrated by heterosexuals.

Can people be forced or convinced to change from gay to straight or the other way around? 

Again, it’s important to understand the differences between same gender feelings desires and inclinations, and the chosen behaviors. Behaviors can be changed or controlled with the correct motivation. Most agree that sexual orientation is different from sexual behavior, orientation referring to feelings and self-concept, and that all people may or may not express their sexual orientation through their behaviors. 

*The American Psychological Association, Fact Sheet, “Psychology and You,” 

I think my family member might be gay. How will I know if they really are?   

You will know when they start dating or when they care to speak about it with others. Sexuality, like religion, is a personal issue. We as are blessed with gifts of the spirit, and revelation given to us personally. You may be in this persons line of authority and may be able to receive information that will help this relative.  

How do I “come out” and when is it appropriate?   

As a Mormon, is it appropriate to “come out”? Is that the question? Yes it is. You may not want to take out an ad in the cinema section of the Sunday paper, but you wouldn’t do that to announce your “Hetro” life either. Tell anyone who cares about you or anyone who has a need to know. As with any other personal information, where, when and with whom you tell about your sexuality is your decision solely. It’s important and healthy for you to share your feelings with appropriate others. If you feel you can’t tell your parents, talk to a friend or a bishop or someone else you trust. Sometimes, the Grandma Ruby’s of the world can surprise you. It’s possible that the people who are closest to you already know and are waiting for you to be comfortable enough to talk about it. 

May the Lord bless you. That is not a question.

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