Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Are Mormon gays invisible?

When I was younger and skinnier I used to dream that I was invisible and because of that I could go anywhere I wanted to go without being seen.

The first place I thought about going as an invisible being was a men's locker room. After a couple of months with that scenario, I moved onto visiting a bank on equally a regular basis, but those were always one/two.
At different times, everyone has
 a different idea of heaven

So, is this a dream come true?  I am a gay Mormon man and by being such am I invisible or am I just a nothing?

I ask because I am here. Here is my hand and it's attached to the rest of me. I do exist. Saying that there are no gays in the Mormon church is misguided at best.

Glibness aside, the doctrine that was stated last week in a relatively obscure conference (and I know it will become doctrine) validated what I have always felt to be true. I have even spent much of the last five years writing a book with that concept at its core.

The reason a general authority in the LDS church said that there are no gays in the LDS church is because gay or bi or anything that is not "Man/Woman" is a state that does not exist in heaven and didn't exist in the preexistence -- which explains the reason for Mormons to hold onto the Proclamation on the Family as a standard.

Based on that new (old?) information, a same-sex marriage could be performed here on earth, and when the next life came around, the couple would be mismatched. No sarcasm or cynicism -- just a mismatch.

However, if one experiences gay feelings from one's birth -- as I do and have done -- it's hard to imagine that things could be any different.  I am gay, and I am a Mormon. If one has ever had these feelings or acted on them and has created relationships based on one's homosexuality, then it will feel as if one's very foundation is being ripped out from under one.

The general authorities have always stated that homosexuality didn't quite fit in the church -- if "fit" is the right word. They didn't always have the answers as to "why", and the speculation around the topic was sometimes comical. Regardless, they have always said "no".

Let's open this up a bit, because you may remember my saying that I am gay and I am a Mormon which seems to contradict what Elder Bednar said: Alcoholism is not a state that existed in the pre-existence, yet there are alcoholics in the LDS church. Depression is not something that was a part of our lives in the world that was before we came here, but look around you. Abuse was not something that happened in the pre-existence, yet there are abused and the abusive here on earth -- and in the LDS church. There are many conditions here on Earth that did not exist in the life before we came to Earth and will not exist in the after-life.

There exist here on earth conditions and possibilities that were brought on by our allowing Heavenly Father to send us to Earth in all imperfection to make choices and to be tried and tested.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is given to man as a tool to return to Him. The general authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day are here to guide us with His word, and we are allowed freedoms to act and to choose. The fact of the matter is that our limitations, physical characteristics and challenges do not define our identity -- hence, the comment that there are no gays in the church. We are much more than the proverbial sum of these parts.

BTW, the Gospel was not given to us as an excuse to judge others or place others below us. Anyone who believes that the gospel gives us the authority to put anyone in a predetermined place is mistaken.

God has given His children the ability to overcome earth life and all that separated us from Him.   There are things we don't choose.  But we can choose to follow the Savior. This latest info from David R. Bednar fits in with that concept, even if it may not have been well thought out.


  1. Interesting thought came to me about when you brought up Alcoholics. Why is it not said there are No Alcoholics in The Church?

    If the Question from the Chilean was asked with a word replacing Homosexual to Abused... " How can an Abused person remain faithful and Steadfast in The Church?

    I don't think the question would have been handled saying there are no Abused Members in the Church.

    I do understand Elder Bednar is saying we need not define ourselves by one issue.

    1. Kenny, I like what you have said about the comment of Elder Bednar's. I don't like to be defined or labeled myself. I returned to Church several years ago and though at times I do feel out of the "norm", but my Bishop is a great man who knows my worth and contribution to the Ward and I has given me two callings as single adult rep and asst Ward mission leader of which I try to do my best to fulfill.

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