Monday, August 27, 2018

Chapter Seven - They That Be With Us - Finding the Connection Between Being Gay and Being Mormon.

This is chapter seven of the big gay Mormon book I am writing with a friend. It is not salacious.  And the reason I am writing the big Gay Mormon book is because I am gay and I am a temple recommend holding Mormon man. 



Chapter Seven: The Enemy We Know  
or "Alex, I will take 'Demystifying Satan' for $800"

Calvin:  When I play games of any kind, I’m out to win.  I may look all passive and docile, but I’m the Dominator - especially when I play my kids. They are young enough that I can predict their moves simply because I know them and how they think. I know that if I can take my son’s queen then the game is not as fun for him and he quits. I know that my daughter likes all her pieces in a straight line - which is hard to do in chess but she does it. I use that information to exploit and win. 

On the other hand, my wife knows me well enough to know that if she drags the chess game out or plays something that takes hours - like Monopoly -  then I will probably get bored and concede the game.
There is someone else that knows us at least as well as I know my kids or as well as my wife knows me -- someone we face every day in matters more important than a chess match. 
Lucifer has a great memory and he has no rules. His aim is as obvious as his methods are devious. Satan’s desire is to destroy the children of God on the earth and to make them miserable. He is the enemy of all righteousness and of those who seek to follow God. If I seek to follow God, then he is my enemy, too. 
It would be wise to familiarize ourselves with him and his tactics in order to avoid deception and capture. We will discuss him briefly in this chapter to get an idea of his plan of action. Once we have done so we will focus on the Savior and followers of the Savior who have successfully avoided being caught in Satan’s traps, and how we can avoid the pitfalls, to begin with.
The apostle John A. Widtsoe states in this account of Lucifer 
“...He pitted his own plan and will against the purposes of God. He strove to gain the birthright of his Elder Brother, Jesus the Christ. When his proposition was rejected, he forsook all that he had gained; He was no longer Lucifer, bearer of truth, who walked in light, but Satan, teacher of untruth, who slunk in darkness. He became the enemy of God and of all who try to walk according to the Lord's commandments.”
The prophet Ezra Taft Benson taught that Lucifer wanted, not just to be honored, but “to be honored above all others. In short, his prideful desire was to dethrone God.”  In a vision given to Joseph Smith the Prophet and Sidney Rigdon, we learn that Satan wanted “to take the kingdom of our God and his Christ.” These are not the altruistic actions of one meaning to selflessly submit, or the unveiling of a gentle penchant to resist to authority.  His intention was to take over, to usurp God the Father.

Against The Odds
A third part of the hosts of heaven who were present with the millions of us in that pre-earth life assembly followed Lucifer. They declared that they no longer believed in the truths as taught by Father and were cast out of heaven. They were denied the blessing of a physical body and the chance to return to the presence of God. When the devil and his followers were cast out they were sent to earth where they, as evil and generally unseen spirits, seek to destroy all mankind.
They were angry. They still are.  
“The adversary’s aim is to destroy us. Angry that his plan was not adopted in the heavens; angry at his failure in the rebellion against God and at his expulsion from the courts of glory; angry at his being deprived of a body, he and those who fell with him have been eager ever since that dreadful time to destroy their brethren and sisters who did not rebel with them. We who are here (tonight), as well as all who are upon the earth, kept our first estate. We did not listen to Lucifer. He was a mighty angel; he had exceedingly great power in the presence of God. He used his great influence with the family of God to convince them that the plan which he proposed was the better one and to persuade them to reject the plan of God and his Son Jesus, our elder brother. Failing in this, he has, apparently, declared war against all his brethren and sisters who were honorable and maintained their allegiance to God. Therefore he is continually spreading snares for the feet of the children of men.  -Apostle George Q. Cannon

Satan’s Method of Battle
Calvin: In Satan’s version of the story of the preexistence, like a fractured fairy tale, he is cast in the ingénue role as the innocent one. He believes that he has been conned out of what was rightfully his; that he is the picked on, the victim. Obviously, with one third the host of heaven following him, he can be convincing. He tells a good story.
“Satan knows all the tricks…” and the traps, and the lies. He is skilled enough to be able to turn anything to his advantage.
Almost everything.
One of his primary tactics is to encourage those on earth to deny his existence or his purpose. This ploy has had great success. We ourselves help this along may assist him to disappear in the crowd by being equally as anxious to eliminate any wrongdoing or culpability/responsibility in the matter. It’s easier on our conscience if we can convince ourselves that there are no rules, there is no bad, there is no Satan.
How naïve are we to consider, even for a moment, that Satan doesn’t exist.  And what an excellent game plan he had conceived. How can we hope to defend ourselves against an enemy we have been convinced is not real? If we take his existence lightly we will in no way be prepared to resist him. How do we fight something that isn’t there? How do we prepare for battle against a thug we have made-up to scare children into obeying?
There is a popular series of young adult novels that establishes the enemy, the villain as someone who must not ever be named out loud. This may have originally started to dishonor him but it eventually became a jewel in his crown—his name struck fear, which for some became a type of reverence.
I do not revere Satan or those who belong to him. I have seen the lives he has destroyed. I have seen his power. I respect him as an adversary but would rather deal with him by staying out of his way as I try to follow the Lord.
Satan would keep the attention off himself and his minions, while he stays in the shadows. I would shout his name from the rooftops if I thought the publicity would demean his cause. The day will shortly come when he won’t be as subtle or secretive with his intentions.
Elder Marion G. Romney, at the time 1st councilor in the first presidency said:
"We Latter-day Saints need not be, and we must not be, deceived by the sophistries of men concerning the reality of Satan. There is a personal devil, and we had better believe it. He and a countless host of followers, seen and unseen, are exercising a controlling influence upon men and their affairs in our world today."
Satan’s Other Tactics
We have previously noted Satan’s penchant for convincing us that he and his minions -- as well as evil itself -- are of our own creation if they exist at all; That he is the one wronged.  His other tactics include:
Encouraging sin, presenting sin as inviting and desirable, or teaching that repentance is meaningless because there is no sin. He minimizes sins seriousness and its effects
Calling good evil and evil good—the wholesome is demeaned, degradation is valued;
Guiding us to concentrate on the present and ignoring the future,
Teaching us to ignore the revelations of God, or that there are no such things;
Flattering us into thinking that our worldly wisdom is enough, resulting in modification of standards to fit current social norms.
The war that began in the pre-existence when Lucifer decided that he knew better for us and about us than Heavenly Father did is still being fought today. The emotions have not faded. Though there is a veil that covers much of our memory, it only affects those of us here on earth with bodies. Those without the veil remember entirety.
Satan remembers which side we were on. He knows who we were and where we stood – and how we chose. He knows our names. He remembers what we liked and what our preferences were and where our vulnerabilities lay—like I know how my kids think when we play chess. He knows our frailties and our week spots. He uses strategy. He is going for it all, and he’s got a head start.

Julie’s Guide to Knowing Who is Who
Julie: Satan’s power is real, so real that it can sometimes be confusing whether the thoughts or the inspirations we feel come from Heavenly Father or from Satan. We must be vigilant in guarding against the prince of lies and his deceits if we want to resist being pulled into his web. 
By the time I was out of high school, I’d had numerous opportunities to feel the Holy Ghost in my life, and I recognized the Spirit whether as a small still voice or a power that filled my whole body with light.
A girlfriend invited me to attend an interdenominational bible study group and I agreed to go. They met in the apartment of one of the youth leaders, a guy in his mid-twenties. My friend and I were two of about fifteen teenagers in attendance. As the meeting began the leader invited us to take turns sharing the story of how we had been saved. As a member of the LDS Church, the term saved was more of an ongoing process than an actual point in the timeline for me, so I turned to something more familiar: My testimony.
The last young woman who shared her “saved” story spoke about an important college exam she was preparing for, and someone suggested we pray for her success. To my surprise, everyone left the couch and chairs to sit cross-legged on the ground in a circle around her.
I hesitantly joined them.
Prayer was safe, I thought to myself. I’d been praying since I was a little girl and I was comfortable doing it. Despite the differences in our doctrine and the growing antagonism of the youth leader, we were all basically talking to the same God. 
No one was called on to be voice, so I assumed we would all quietly say our own personal prayers. I folded my arms, bowed my head and silently began, “Dear Father in Heaven…”
But...
The whole experience was strange, and I would have gotten up and left the circle if I hadn’t felt it would be disrespectful to their faith. Instead, I prayed more fervently asking the Spirit to be with me. Suddenly I felt an invisible power rush through the room. It felt like a strong wind blowing first one direction and then another, although nothing in the room stirred.
This power was strong but unfamiliar and it seemed to affect the other teenagers almost immediately. The noise level increased, someone started crying out and another shouted halleluiah. I was terrified. Evidently, the others in the room had felt this power before and assumed it was of God, but I knew immediately that it was neither good nor holy. There was no warm peaceful feeling, no sense of safety and love. It was erratic, stimulating everyone in the room with its powerful but unfocused energy.
Fear overcame me, and I prayed fervently to be protected from whatever unseen evil had entered the room. A few moments later the prayer circle was over and the young people stood up, their eyes glazed and their energy drained.
 
I left the apartment as soon as I could, but what stayed with me was the memory of how differently I had perceived the experience. Several of the students spoke of the beautiful and powerful Spirit of God that had been there, and it seemed I was the only one who’d realized that God had had no hand in the evening. Powerful? Unbelievably. But divine? Certainly not.

General Moroni; The Example of Man (Regardless of Sexuality or Preference)
Calvin: So we know who Satin is, what is motivation is and what tools he uses.  Let’s now look at someone who was successful in fighting him.
Mormon in his writings was quite impressed with Moroni the man and leader—enough that he named his son after him.  “And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery” 
 I always had the image of the man we have come to know as General Moroni as the anti-Satan.  Not just a follower of Christ, but one who proactively pursued and destroyed the influence and those influenced by Satan.
If ever there was a list created on how to overcome the influences of Satan, this would be it.
His heart was large in (giving) thanks to his God
He worked to keep his people safe, had sworn an oath to do so, which included defending his people, rights, country and religion
He promised never to raise the sword except against an enemy, or to preserve their lives.
He was strong in the faith of the Savior
He was obedient in keeping the commandments of God
Because of his faith and responsibility, God would warn them according to their danger;
His heart did glory in doing good, in preserving his people, in keeping the commandments of God and resisting iniquity
By actions he was/they were all men of God.
He preached the word of God, and they baptize unto repentance all men whosoever would hearken
 People did humble themselves because of their (his) words
If we were like Moroni, the devil would not have power.
He was strong enough to fight Satan. He was resourceful and innovative. His use of armor and weaponry was inspired. He was respected by honorable men.  He was bold enough that if more were like him the foundations of hell would tremble, and I want him on my side.
I have never been bold enough to shake the powers of hell. Moroni was powerful in ways I may never be. No one is going to mistake my arms for Moroni’s via an Arnold Freeburg painting regardless of how thick my armor is. But I can still adopt Moroni's faith into my own attitude and actions. 
I can, on a smaller scale, be a thorn in Satan’s side.
It’s getting down to the wire. We all sustained Heavenly Fathers plan and we were willing to submit to all things which the Lord saw fit to inflict upon us.  We had purpose and vision. We believed in eternal life – God’s life. We had the fulfillment of knowing who we were and what our Father thought we could become.  We can still have all these things.
We are sons and daughters of the King. We all have worth in the sight of our Heavenly Father. Where we are in life or how successful we have been thus far does not change this fact.
We will focus on the Lord, and we will be sustained in our challenges and disappointments, in our successes and failures.

Why did I spend the last few minutes reading about Lucifer and his schemes in a chapter about gay Mormons?

If I may be frank:  Now, like then, we have a choice. We can follow the Savior or not. When the Savior - through his prophets or by his own mouth -  says that sex is for marriage and marriage is between a man and a woman, then that is the way it is. 

However, it took me years to come to that conclusion. I was no choir boy during that time. But I finally figured out where I wanted to go from there. I remembered what I committed to in the preexistence and then again in the temple. Anything short of following the Savior will not get me where I want to be. 

If someone else chooses differently, then God bless them. I love and support them and wish them the very best. have made my choice and I expect the same respect. 

Because of what I know, I have no need to spend any more time trying to prove to myself that my very existence is not futile or absurd. I know who I am, and I know that both the Savior and our adversary know me as well. When times get tough -- like they were yesterday and like they will be again tomorrow -- I remember who I trusted (and who I didn’t) to get me back home.


Tuesday, August 7, 2018

They That Be With Us - Chapter 6

This is the sixth chapter of  "They That Be WIth Us,"  which is my Big Gay Book.  How can I be a real Morman and write a Big Gay Book? Just like this...

Pulling back to See the Bigger Picture;
Expanding our View

A man came across 3 stone-cutters working in a quarry – each busily cutting a block of stone. Interested, he asked the first stone-cutter what he was doing. "I am cutting a block of stone!" the stone-cutter muttered.  Wanting more information, the man turned to the next stone-cutter and asked him the same question. “I am cutting this block of stone to make sure that it is exact so that it will fit in its place in a wall." He said with a smile.  Still unclear, the man asked his question to the third stone-cutter who seemed to be the happiest of the three who replied: “I am building a cathedral.”

W
 hen I was 9 I used to pretend that I was an alien prince--left on this planet due to superior intelligence.  My task here on lowly Earth was to learn humility, to show my loyalty, and to earn my father -- the king’s -- respect.  In my little story I needed to experience what was needed in order to be a better ruler and then he would send his finest warriors to bring me back home where I would reign with wisdom and possibly a cape.
 
It was a silly story even then but it helped me to cope.

The real story is even better than I ever imagined, and because I know the real story I can cope and do so nicely.  And, I am not coming into the story in the middle of it.  I know the beginning, the middle – where I am now – and I have an idea about the end. In short, I understand the big picture. The little things, or the medium things - heck, even the huge bolder that drops on my path can be stepped around as long as I know the big picture. 

My first story wasn’t too far off. I was sent to earth by the Father to -- among other things – learn humility. And I will gain wisdom and show loyalty so that I can return to Him in honor.

Possibly with a cape.

Cal’s Quick Pre-existence Refresher

I have always known that our life as we know it here didn’t begin at birth. We are children of Heavenly parents and our father is God the King. That is the first part of the story.  Mormons know all about the pre-existence.

Much like the legendary Camelot, our pre-mortal home was a place of beauty, light, and love. Our purpose there was to learn as much as we could.  As lovely as things were there, some of us may have realized that we were ready to have more, to accomplish more, and to simply be more than we had been up to that point.
 
One day our Father gathered us in and gave us instruction. He presented a plan. (Every good ruler has a clear plan of action, and our Father certainly would). He shared details with us that, in our excitement and inexperience, we hadn't considered. The plan was this; We would leave His presence, get a body, and use our agency to choose to follow Him – or not to follow him. We would be challenged.

He asked us to sustain His plan.  We said yes, and we meant yes.

I may not have understood the particulars, like why there needed to be someone to take responsibility for us.  But I knew that Father in His perfect wisdom and intelligence knew all things. I trusted Him to know.  It was His job to know.

Out of love for us Jesus volunteered to be our Savior. He wanted to follow God’s plan, and was happy to let the glory remain with Heavenly Father. He would accept the punishment for the mistakes we’d on earth, making it possible for us to return home after we’d completed our assignments on earth. I so loved Him even before He stepped up, and that love doubled along with my respect.

Another volunteered also. Both of my elder brothers were strong and powerful. I looked up to and loved each of them. But Lucifer wanted Heavenly Father to change His plan. Lucifer proposed to save everyone by taking away our ability to choose right from wrong.  He guaranteed that none of us would be lost.  Lucifer also wanted the honor to go to him instead of Father.

Once it was explained, I knew who best represented me, who I wanted to serve and follow. Heavenly Father’s plan stood, and He chose Jesus to be our Savior. Lucifer was angry and rebelled.  It got bad quickly. Things were said that I’d never heard before, and there were emotions I’d never felt.  There were divisions in a family that had never been divided. Some of my brothers and sisters felt differently than I did. I tried to convince them – I can be very convincing. I may have told a joke to lighten the mood so we could focus on the truth of the matter. We all tried.

It was over for some of us then and there. I was saddened for my brothers and sisters who were cast out.  I am sad now thinking of them, but we moved on.

Jesus was in charge of us now. We may have met with Him one on one, I don't know. I don't remember, (though I truly am excited for the day when I do). He had individual plans of action for us. Every good ruler has a clear plan of action. We confirmed that, yes, what we wanted more than anything was to be like Father.

Our elder brother showed us how...

How It Was

Julie:  You can see that Cal had a background in theater and has a very creative imagination.  Still, his view is pretty close to what we know of the pre-existence from scriptures and prophetic revelation. God had a plan. Jesus volunteered to follow through, and Satan said his way was better. Utilizing our agency, we chose to follow God. The reason this is so important -- and the reason I let Cal wax-on -- is because we want everyone to remember what we were once a part of, and what our lineage is. Knowing who we were back then will assist us in knowing who we are now. We were the valiant and the righteous.  We were the ones who said no to force and yes to agency. We fought for the right to make our own choices, and we are still those brave and valiant spirits today.
 
Calvin: Reader, do you doubt it?  Find out for yourself. This is one of the perks of personal revelation, a gift graciously given through the Holy Ghost. The Lord wants us to know.  He is expecting us to ask.

I believe I had a PPI of sorts before I came to earth.  I believe that I agreed to come at a prescribed time and place, with talents and abilities. I may have been aware of the specifics, and I am speaking of SGA.  I believe that I agreed to take on the frailties, challenges, benefits, and abilities

Elder Spencer W Kimball said, “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, pain and comforts, ease and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments; and we knew also that we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable… We were willing to come and take life as it came.”

Julie: Have you ever thought about how much we really understood before we came to earth? I wonder if we got to pick the trials we would face on earth or the weakness we would have to overcome, or the strengths we would be blessed with.

Calvin: I’m not sure, but I think with agency being such an issue for us, we may have had some sort of “say” in the matter of our progression.  How much “say” I don’t know.  I’m not sure a wise and loving God would just let us choose our own failings with limited knowledge and experience. How could we know at such a young stage of existence what trials or weaknesses would do us the greatest good?  At that point in our lives, we would simply have had no frame of reference.

I think we agreed to come to earth with some understanding of the risks involved, as much as we could understand about something we had yet to experience.  I can’t imagine that any contributions we made would have been monumental, but the idea that we had a say in the matter is crucial to me -- even if that say was, “Okay, I agree.”

We knew that God’s purpose for sending us to earth was to obtain knowledge of good and evil, and we knew that striving to be like Him, in conjunction with the Atonement, would give us the best shot.

“His purpose is to help us qualify for the blessing of living with Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, forever in glory and in families. To qualify for that gift we had to receive a mortal body. With that mortality, we understood that we would be tested by temptations and by difficulties. - Henry B. Eyring
I don't know what your personal plan of action was. I wasn’t present for your PPI. But I have a good idea.  I’m gaining a more clear understanding of mine daily.

Very Big Picture

Julie: The Lord has been decidedly vocal on who He is and what His intentions are.  In revelations given to Moses and others in the Old Testament, in talks presented to His disciples in the New Testament, in His appearances to the peoples of the Book of Mormon and to Joseph Smith, the Lord declared Himself and His purposes.  His aim is to bring all those who will follow Him to the blessing of eternal life or Gods life: Undying love, power, never-ending creativity, fellowship and eternal brotherhood.  Ceaseless, timeless, everlasting. Very big picture.

He has also been clear that no one can frustrate the works, designs, or purposes of God, nor bring them to naught. God does not walk in crooked paths. His ways are straight; He turns neither to the right nor left, and his course is one eternal round. He gives us instruction and exhorts us to follow His will.

The Lord is saying that if we stick close to Him, He can offer us protection.  As demonstrated by His actions and instruction, our Savior cares for us and wants us to be safe. 

Calvin:  By virtue of our birthright, all of us have the power to learn and grow in ways we can’t even imagine. Through our own innate abilities and by accessing the power of the atonement to enhance the individual traits that make us who we are, we can achieve and accomplish things beyond our own dreams.

With this capacity why do we doubt our own natural abilities and let cynicism call the shots?  Because we do not believe it. Because we forget about Gods plan and the big picture. We forget to step back or look up.

A Lesson in Sidewalk Observance

Julie:  A social experiment was conducted in a major city, to see how people would respond to a tree full of free money. They chose a tree that grew along a sidewalk on a busy thoroughfare and paper clipped one hundred, one dollar bills to the branches. Each bill carried a removable sticker that included messages such as, “Hey Free Money” or “Don’t Ask, Just Enjoy”. A hidden video was then used to record the reactions of those who passed by.

It was interesting to observe how many people walked by the tree aflutter with green dollar bills and didn’t even look at it. Other’s glanced over but refused to stop and investigate. 
However the gentleman I found most interesting was a guy riding by on a bike. One of the bills had been blown to the ground under the dollar filled tree. This man saw the cash on the sidewalk, stopped, picked it up and went on his way. He never raised his head to see the fifty or more free dollars that hung invitingly right above his head.

Too often, we are like the guy on the bike. There are rich blessings that our Heavenly Father wants to give us right within our reach but because we can’t or won’t look up and see them, we miss out on these good gifts. By staring at the ground of life, we might think that temporary fun is all there is, but if we raise our head and search higher we’ll be knocked out by what we’d find.

God loves each of us, regardless of our orientation, and He desires to bless us if we will trust Him and raise our eyes to higher goals.  However, for a good number of us, this entails some effort, the very least of which is looking up. 

Calvin: And that folks is how the big picture looks to me. And why, you ask, is all this pre-existence stuff in Cal Thompson's Big Gay Book? The answer is because that is where we started. Not the womb and the birth canal. Not with nature or nurture. In fact, as I I picture the whole shebang in my mind, I see us closer to the middle that the beginning. We have already been spiritually created, lived and loved and been loved.  We were part of a huge counsel, made lasting choices and survived a war.  Then we were born on earth and have made it this far. 

 President Boyd K. Packer, former President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught: “There is no way to make sense out of life without a knowledge of the doctrine of premortal life. … When we understand the doctrine of premortal life, then things fit together and make sense.” 1

If you knew that God the Father is your father, and that he has a plan for you, that he knows your desires, your pain and your joy -- would that change things things up for you? Would it make a difference in how you treat yourself, others, or how you expected others to treat you?

Does it make any difference for you concerning your sexual orientation? 

It does for me. 



1 Boyd K. Packer, “The Mystery of Life,” Ensign, Nov. 1983, 18.

Scripture references to the pre-existence: