Monday, May 17, 2010

Helpful Hints From The Voice Of Experence

Face book is the devil. I have to set a goal to only get on once a day, and I can see that being to much. I have been following a conversation from a friend who is celibate. (Yeah, right)

No, really! He made a decision in the army, I think, to stay chaste because he is a gay Mormon and he won't have sex until he can do it in what he feels is the right way. Good for him.

The whole celibacy/chastity/moral cleanliness issue has moved me to think, and this doesn't happen often.

How the heck does he do it? No, I am not going to call him up and ask. I don't even know what that would look like. “Hey dude from facebook, speaking of chastity and not doing it, how do you do it, not doing it and all?...”

So I made my own list. A lot of these I do (or don't do) now that I am of the mind that marriage should be in the bounds of marriage-only. This following this list keeps me in a temple recommend. It keeps me in a relationship and with a family and free of funky diseases and complications. It is not for the week of heart. I think my chaste army friend would be proud.

1. Are you looking, but not looking, but secretly looking? Own the temptation. Come out and say it. Then decide to do it, or to not. Get off the fence. Choose the right.
2. Do your eyes wander? More when you don a pare of sunglasses? Try not using shades when outside as you can - except when driving or playing softball or operating heavy machinery.
3. Let those practicing medicine or animal husbandry compare anatomy. Putting a photo of a buff, but mostly naked man, on the fridge may assist to curb one particular appetite, but feed another.
4. You probably will not find your soul mate in a club called “The Trough” or “Meat”. Try frequenting beaches or parks or laundromats where there are lots of other people – not just single adults.
5. Stop all the flirting and/or hitting-on. Be as friendly as you want, but when you sound like Joey Tribbiani or a bad cartoon, your intent may not be as innocent as you protest
6. Reality check!: People, especially Men people, and especially when aroused, will say any thing and promise anything and everything to get what they want. And they may want you. (What are you doing there in the first place, Brother?)
7. Do you imbibe? Are you a different man after a dentists visit with Novocaine? Medications and alcohol and sometimes lack of sleep makes us vulnerable. Vulnerable is good in certain emotional relationships and in creative writing. Not in your chase for being chaste.
8. Reading iffy novels and magazines or on-line soft porn may not, bare bones, keep you from a temple recommend, but where exactly do we think this form of entertainment will lead us? Toss the graphic or lurid portrayals of sex. This may include the “Titanic” and most of the book of Psalms.
9. There is something to be said for not feeding the flame. Trying to keep things “cool” with porn is like putting out the fire with a bucket of gasoline. Men: in the A.M. at the first sign of “morning”, would you try jumping out of bed and getting your hands on something you could show your mother. Ride a bike, go for a jog, call the weatherman.
10. Get a life! Do something physically active. Get a hobby! Try spelunking or ceiling art painting, or beekeeping. It worked for Michelangelo. Run from self-pity... Embrace literature, Produce good works, Stroke the passion for math and music, Multiply the manifestation of affection and friendship where sexual attraction is absent.
11. There is power in wielding priesthood for Mormon men. There are things to wear that remind us of goals and promises. Wear them and be strong.
12. Chances are if you see it and get all hot and bothered, they will too. Keep your shirt on unless you are shooting hoops, cleaning up, toting that barge or lifting that bale. Don't undermine what little self-control others may be mustering. Do unto others. Hopefully they will keep their clothes on too.

That there's the list. What would you


  1. That's funny! celibacy? Ha ha...Oh wait. You're serious.

    Chastity ain't so popular. But I totally agree with this blog. Sex is important, but not the most important. Proud of you, dude. And your army friend.

  2. Dude. Funny. Internet can be hugly bad news. I try to keep a prayer in my heart that I will remember that I am a man, and that I have agency and that my choise is a good thing.

  3. All I can say is thank the maker that I do not have to view topless women all summer and topless men. I am totally with the men should also wear shirts and have had to request that well endowed fellows in my employ, well put your shirts on dudes. And, be still my heart.

    They must do this on purpose the word verification was chedst.

  4. Speaking of creative writing, I'd add that to the list. When you're experiencing any of the HALT states (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) try writing. Not necessarily anything good, just let your fingers fly. Say what comes to mind. Helps me. Helps others. Maybe it would work for your list readers, too. Of course you already do it to a certain degree because you blog. So do you agree?

  5. Praying is a big one for me. It is such a private matter between me and the lords. I share some really personal stuff in my prayers, which are, yes, sometimes in my closet. I wouldnt suggest that except for the fantastic results. I am clear headed and I remember my goals better, and I feel focused for the day. PRAYER, Gentleman. Prayer.