Where Have All The Gay Guys Gone?

Kinsey says 10%.

This is a generally accepted figure in connection to number of homosexuals in society. Kinsey actually categorized men into six different groups, varying degrees of hetero and homo. The "ten percent" tends to be a combination of those who consider themselves gay and those who have had a gay experience but who may have moved on to something different.

Now lets throw Mormons into the mix. How many gay Mormons are in the church? Let us turn our scriptures to D&C 121, verse...

Yeah – if only it were that easy. If I had to bet the farm I would bet on the side of more rather than less - more homosexuals in the church than in society at large. I believe that the nature of the church lends itself to sensitive and caring, thoughtful, intelligent men – in much the same way as gay men are drawn to music and art, dance, movement, design and all things creative. It is not happenstance that the percentage of homosexuals gravitate to creative walk of life.

Is the Mormon church any less creative or challenging? Mormon men are taught to be creative, accountable, loving, generous, helpful, thrifty clean brave and reverent, good fathers and husbands. Do we think that these teachings and beliefs might possibly attract those men who have, either though choosing or though genetics, developed these talents and attributes on their own?

I do. I think the church attracts those who are sensitive to issues of the spirit. Many times I sit in priesthood meeting and list those that I know of with SGA to some degree or other. Often those I can count are beyond the 10% range into the 15 to 18% range. And it has never been a surprise to me.

I state this to disarm the notion that homo guys in the church are on their own. Of course this misguided notion will continue to predominate if we don't learn to talk and trust and confide in one another and in our leaders. If we feel as a Priesthood power and an organization that there is power in twos (and we do), then how about four groups of twos? In just one ward?

There are men who do not wish to divulge their homosexuality. Many reasons they have, and most of these reasons are downright respectable and responsible. First is that with sticking a homosexual name tag on their chest they bring themselves to scrutiny in public and private. A man may wish to not act on his homosexual tendencies, choosing to minimize that behavior and it's effects on himself and his family or his family prospects. He seems to have a handle on the beast, and I am not going to incest that he come out of a closet he may not have confined himself to in the first place.

There is power in a name. Rather than label myself based on sexual attraction, I prefer to label myself based on my cherished goal - man of God, or priesthood holder. Many feel this same way.

Second, why would such a man volunteer or speak out when "well enough" seems to be doing the job. No reason to make a speech or read a blog on a behavior "problem" that hadn't reached critical mass as a behavior - and may not ever get there. These men may never feel the need to speak with their ecclesiastical leader because, as far as behavior, it was never an issue. Chances are that it won't be for him. Lets leave this brother be in relative peace with his savior and his decision. They are fine without us.

I think there are many in this boat – who may have homosexual feelings but choose not to act on them because what they feel to be true - priesthood, commandments, temple commitment's – means more to them than sex. These are unselfish righteous men.

Obviously, there are many other Mormon homosexual men in many other circumstances, and I am not trying to peg or categorize or label unduly.

There are men not as secure, who are more than wondering about and imagining a homosexual behavior or two. Maybe he hasn't engaged, but can see it coming. This man may prosper with some assistance and council. A leader/coach he can relate to and confide in or someone who is going though the same issues may help.

Some have left the church to one degree or other. There may be some living double lives. I hope not. I wish them God speed and love. I have been there myself.

So, where are the Homosexual Mormon men of the Priesthood?

Sitting alongside their straight brethren. Going to church, home teaching, leading the singing or teaching primary or leading the scouts through the woods. Leading quorums and Wards or Stakes, and giving blessings and going to the temple.

Just like a regular guy.