Saturday, July 9, 2011

I Dreamed a Dream...

I had a dream last night that I was back in college and that I was a hunk.

Yes, it was a nice mullet
 I am always a hunk in my dreams. It was a Friday night and everyone had paired up with someone else for the evening. There was one same sex couple sitting at a table not doing anything really but talking – yet somehow – in the dream, it was obvious that they were SGAttracted. Someone went up to them and let them have it for being gay, saying that they should know better being RM’s and all.

I jumped to their defense and told the guy that before he started lecturing someone else on the church's stance on homosexuality he had better know what the church's stance was. I then turned to the couple sitting at the table to bestow upon them words of great advice as I am wont to do. I give great advice in my dreams.

However, I could think of nothing to say. That's not like me.

No “carry on” no “clean it up”, no “live long and prosper”. Is it because I am old? The best advice I can think of is to stop giving advice and live life as you feel you should – always with the guidance of the spirit. Following that advice – a thought originally said by Ben Franklin…or Brigham Young…someone balding. (Maybe Sinéad O'Connor…) will give us the most opportunities for growth with lesser chance of failure.

When I think of failure, I invariably think of a Hobson’s choice. That and orange rubber prison shoes. Thomas Hobson (1545–1631) ran a successful carrier and horse rental business in Cambridge, England, at the turn of the 17th century. Hobson rented out horses mainly to University students, but refused to hire them out in any other order than that he allocated to insure the rest and ready-ment of the horses. The choice his customers were given was 'I will rent this specific horse here, who is rested and ready, or none. This became, quite literally, the Hobson's choice. Something or nothing. Take it or leave it.

Hobson’s choice today is shows similarities between SGA issues and the church doctrine. As far as the church is concerned, there is somewhat of a do it or don’t do it choice to be made. A take it or leave it situation.

Another choice option is the Morton’s fork. The expression originates from a policy of tax collection under the rule of Henry VII. The approach was that if the subject lived in luxury clearly having spent money on himself, he obviously had sufficient spare income to share with the king. Alternatively, if the subject was frugal, giving no outward appearance of being well-to-do, he clearly has savings to afford the king. This was the two prongs of the fork argument. Whether the subject was rich or poor, he did not have a chance at a favorable choice.

Many consider presidential elections to be Morton’s Forks; two choices, neither one stellar. Comparisons can be made between a Morton’s Fork and SGAttraction.

There are many choices for folks that are gay in the church. What choices did/do you have?


  1. You got my attention, because I'm interested in dreams. I like this dream.

    One clarification... I assume the "pairing off" everyone else was doing in the dream was opposite-sex pairing off..?

  2. My wife and I have been struggling with my homosexuality. She having known before we were married more than 15 years ago, but only the last 2 years really dealing with it. Often she has said in effect "why do you read blogs about gay men" or "why do you have a need to have friendships with gay men?" She goes on to say that these men have not made "our choice." I know I have made a commitment to her to remain married, but I cannot simply "choice" my gayness away. It frustrates her that I cannot simply put it on a shelf and pay no attention to it.

    So what choice do I have? Is it all or nothing?

  3. I am not married, but I am not against it. I - lie you - would be honest with my gay-ness if I wee to marry. I am in the church right now, and I dont seem muself leaving. I do, however, have a lot of friends that don't see a place for them in the church and are creating other lives for themselves. I do get lonely.

  4. I saw this and I thought of this blogspot: "When I see arguments that assert that someone who is trying to avoid acting out homosexually even though they are same gender attracted is "rejecting [his] sexuality" I immediately think that there is something a bit confused in all of this. First, "sexuality" has to do with behavior, unlike "gender" which is genetically determined. Behavior itself is not genetically determined in humans. That's one of the things that distinguishes humans from animals - the ability to decide in a rational way how we will behave in a given circumstance, and to change our patterns of behavior if we so choose.

    "Sexuality, that is, sexual behavior, can be chosen. Even though we may want to have sex with another man, we can choose not to do that. Making that choice is not denying who we are at all. In fact, it is affirming that we are humans and not animals."

  5. JGW
    Funny thing that it seems that they were neither one sex or another or both – they were just people that fit together. It seems that this one guy was not content to see this particular couple together.

  6. The last to JGW was from Cal - somehow it came over an aynon.