Gay Mormon Man / PriesthoodMen: March 2013

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Bigoted?

"We're all the products of our backgrounds and environments, and the issue of marriage for same-sex couples is a complicated nexus of love, identity, politics, ideology and religious beliefs. We should think twice before using terms like 'bigoted' to describe the position of those opposed to same-sex marriage or 'immoral' to describe the position of those in favor, and always strive to cultivate humility in ourselves as we listen to others' perspectives and share our own."

- Will Portman, son of the Ohio senator

See the Yale Daily News for Wills origional letter to the editor http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2013/03/25/portman-coming-out/

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

One Republicans about face

Senator Rob Portman of Ohio announced that he is now a supporter of gay marriage rights.

So, what changed? The good senator from the buckeye state has voted against gay rights in the recent past. Turns out that his son, a sophomore at famed Yale, is gay, and dad is just now finding out.

First of all, thanks to the son for coming out so publicly and letting his dad know that his sexual orientation is not a choice for him anymore than it was for his dad.

Second, good for the dad for allowing himself to re-think and re-consider his original position based on new facts and information.

"I have come to believe" said good ol' dad, "that if two people are prepared to make a lifetime commitment to love and care for each other in good times and in bad, the government shouldn't deny them the opportunity to get married."

Senator Portman's recent about face looms large because he the highest ranking republican to support gay marriage.

See this article on CNN - understanding that it is usually as liberal as Fox is conservative.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/03/25/portmans-son-tells-story-of-coming-out/

LDS News Release

New LDS Temple in Honduras

News Release — 26 March 2013
In response to media requests, the following statement was issued today by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

"Today the Supreme Court of the United States heard arguments regarding the definition of marriage in this country.

"We firmly support the divinely appointed definition of marriage as the union between a man and a woman because it is the single most important institution for strengthening children, families, and society.

"We hope the court will agree, and we look forward to the decision on this important matter."

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-issues-statement-supreme-court-hearing

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Watch for what's coming next: What the passing of Marriage Equality may mean for the LDS church

='s all around

Gay marriage is going to win. I am not saying that I agree or disagree with it. I am just saying that I think that, eventually -- even if the Supreme Court avoids making a decision on it this year -- men will be able to marry men and women will be able to marry women based on American law.

As I have followed the issue for my little writing space set up in my house with a window looking out onto the front yard and my neighborhood, I have been amazed at our speed getting where we are with gay rights. Civil rights, women's issues, nothing has moved at greater speed to resolution, even with a probable year added on.

Is this your sign?

I don't have much to support my stance. I am not one to be able to read the statistics and make sense out of them, but I do know that a whole bunch of states have recently passes or upheld laws that deny marriage privileges universally.

For me, a key issue to passing this key issue is that minds are changing as regular folk discover that they are related to, or friends with, a homosexual. Conservative republicans have only, within the last ten years, had to take a public stand for or against gay marriage -- usually against. Before that, the standard was always implied by politicians, inferred by the public)

In the last year gay marriage as a civil right won, and in several states. The whoosh of sweeping public opinion is getting louder and it is happening at a notable pace -- at least a talking point regardless of the side on which we have taken refuge.

The pendulum has nowhere left to swing but towards liberals. Conservatives say no. Most states have said no already. Unless they add really, really no, or a more strong no, republicans don't have much more to say.

In 2008 California's proposition 8 passed in a real cat fight. But with changing public opinion, would it pass if it were voted on today? A lot of the polls indicate that, yes.

And a lot of the changing is going to be coming from Conservative republicans. Liberals wont change their mind in favor of more bans. In order for republicans to make headway with younger generations of voters, there stance will have to soften, or the republican party will handicap itself.

Is Marriage equality/gay marriage as an issue a deal breaker? I believe that it's starting to be. The young will not vote against it, and the old, in order to stay in office will have to follow suit just to survive.

As a people, we are evolving on gay marriage. Sooner or later, it will pass, and I believe it will be sooner. The Supreme Court may blow us out of the water with a ruling that marriage is a constitutional right turning sooner into today. Regardless of what side you are on, it seems clear that gay marriage will have more wins in its column that losses.

What does that mean for the LDS church and it's members -- me included?

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/03/26/what-is-the-red-equal-sign-all-over-facebook-and-twitter/

I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agree
or Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Acronyms: SGA, SGB, SGI SGA: Same Gender (sexual) Attraction SGB: Same Gender (sexual) Behavior SGI: Same Gender (gay) Identity

OGA, OGB, OGI OGA: Opposite Gender (sexual) attraction OGB: Opposite Gender (sexual) behavior OGI: Opposite Gender (heterosexual) identity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Bisexual: 1) A sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical, mental or romantic attraction to both males and females.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Sentence: “It’s just not coming out”, muttered Sister Macbeth as she compulsively applied spot remover.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Sentence: Sister Fellows always regretted naming her eldest son after her favorite uncle, Gaylord.

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Sentence: “But, Julie,” Cal whined, “I simply don’t have an inoffensive sentence for the word gender.”

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.