Saturday, May 11, 2013

Straighter talk about (euphemism here) or, Hands off, you Fiend!

I think I was wrong in my last essay.

I implied that masturbation was a small thing that may, or may not, need to be handled correctly.  (I can't avoid all the puns, so I'm not going to try. Stop giggling.)

Now, I do speak from some experience.  OK, a lot of experience.  I could have been crowned the king of M-ing -- and that is all I am going to get into here in the blog.  Let it suffice that I know what I am speaking about.

For years I wished I was not gay, and that I could stop masturbating.  Those two things took up almost all my wishes for half of my life.  I don't know which brought me more shame -- to have feelings toward guys, or to remind myself of my desires three or four... well, they were both mind numbing from age 12-13 to my mid thirties.

Last week in a blog I said that it probably wasn't such a big deal, and we all had a small chuckle over the wording by President Packer that was supposed to help us to...not do what we were doing. 

And I more than implied that there were worse things a guy could do. It's not my job to rank sins.    Frankly, how you deal with sexual desires is not my concern, and I shouldn't be commenting one way or another.  Please forgive me for coming close to giving you any instruction on the matter.  I will stick to speaking for myself.

Mild mannered, unassuming, in control.
For myself, I think of masturbating and smoking to be a lot alike.  Both could be called "gateway" activities, both could lead to more serious transgressions, both take a reasonable amount of self control.  Both are a bugger to stop once you've started. Would I stear you away from smoking?  Yes, I would.

Some say that the church is trying to control our lives.  I don't say that.  I say that the church wants us to be in control of our lives. I am pro-Mormon church because I think that the Mormon church wants what is best for us, as well as an organization of humans on earth can.

I am older, and masturbating is not as big a deal for me as it was in my youth.  Self control has only a small percentage to do with that.  The difference has been maturity, and by that, I mean age.  My sexual desires are tame now in comparison to what they were in my college years & anything in the proximity -- one of the reasons I try to let young gay men know that there is wisdom in letting time fly.

I cant speak for straight guys.  I think that it is sometimes bad for them, but that is not my area of expertise.  Still, letting time pass and getting married, or growing older, or a number of things tames the beast considerably.

The best I can offer at this point is that your sexuality is between you and the Lord.  It sounds silly -- the thought that you would share that information with the Lord, but he knows anyway, and he can help you through whatever you are going through.

I can say this without feeling like I had stayed past my welcome.  Guilt and pain may be helpful in appropriate doses.  But carrying them around as penance for masturbating doesn't seem right.  Your call, though.



  1. Jacking off can't make one gay. Having gay sex won't even make one gay. So many men I know jerked off (or more) with other guys when they were young and they are straight.

  2. Thanks for reading, but that is so not the point of what was written. Don't know why anyone is gay, and I don't care. Masterbation doesn't make the man...anything but busy for a minute.

  3. Thanks for writing on the subjest withing being graphic and lewd. I like your style.