Thursday, May 2, 2013

Straight talk for those SSA'ed about masturbating

The first time I heard about masturbation was a priesthood session of general conference. The speaker talked of a little factory producing a product, and if you kept taking from the factory, it would continue to churn out the stuff. If you didn’t take from it’s supply then it would peter out and not produce as much.

I went back and found the talk. Here is the part I mention:

This little factory moves quietly into operation as a normal and expected pattern of growth and begins to produce the life-giving substance. It will do so perhaps as long as you live. It works very slowly. That is the way it should be. For the most part, unless you tamper with it, you will hardly be aware that it is working at all. As you move closer to manhood, this little factory will sometimes produce an oversupply of this substance. 

The Lord has provided a way for that to be released. It will happen without any help or without any resistance from you. Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess.  

The factory and automatic release work on their own schedule. The Lord intended it to be that way. It is to regulate itself. This will not happen very often. You may go a longer period of time, and there will be no need for this to occur. When it does, you should not feel guilty. It is the nature of young manhood and is part of becoming a man.   BK Packer

At the time, I had no idea what factory he was talking about. The only factory I knew of was by the river in my home town that produced jerky, and the GA's wisdom simply didn’t apply to meat… Little did I know.

It's just what I thought, dude. 
You need to get another hobby

I have spent 3/4s of my life feeling bad about masturbating. Not just masturbation - as in something that was sinful, but as in something I did on regularly that was sinful.

Please don't ask how regularly.  Let me just say that if I spent as much time on something else I could have put myself through law school, and would have three Gina Bachauer trophies sitting on my piano.  

In my twenties I remember thinking in a prayer, OK, I cant have sex with somebody else, and I can’t have it with myself. Just what do I do?

My bishop at a student ward told all of us during an elders quorum meeting that he didn’t care and didn’t want to know about masturbation as long as you did your business by yourself, and there was no pornography involved. 

Those two years were the most spiritually free I remember feeling throughout puberty, teen life, and college -- those two years he was bishop. I wasn’t so frantic and ashamed. I smiled more. I talked to the guys sitting next to me in priesthood meeting. I even taught a few of those meetings without feeling like I was a self abusing, MOHOing fool.

Play, boy!  Play for your life!
How about those straight boys?  They had much the same problem.  In fact, every guy there could have had the same problem, gay or straight.  Straight guys could get married and alleviate the situation, but that's for another discussion.
Now that I am older, I tend to think that what I do and who I do it with is none of anyone’s business. I feel only accountable to my wife and the lord through the bishop. He doesn’t ask me if I masturbate occasionally. I would tell him if he asked. I feel like an adult human male.

If I had the pressure and the urging of youth today, in middle age, I wonder how I would feel?  With what I know about the temple and being a man, would I still masturbate as regularly as when I was 15 through 30?

Masturbation, unto it self (so to speak) is not the issue it has been made. I am not your bishop or spiritual adviser, so I would never give anyone advise.  Rather that focusing on not doing something, focus on reading scriptures or serving others, or home teaching, or a countless number of other things and feel good about where you are going.

BK Packer, in that same talk also said this, that I missed hearing the the first time around:

"The power to prevent such habits or to break them rests in your mind, not in your body. Don't let that physical part of you take charge. Stay in control. Condition your body to do the will of your mind."    

The talk makes more sense with emphasis placed on those last few sentences.  Readers, (understanding that this is a sight that supports the LDS church as well as being gay) what say you?


  1. I guess I'm a little confused about your viewpoint here. In the talk you shared it says "It will happen without any help or resistance from you". If you're not helping it along, then you're not masturbating. There is quite a difference between masturbation and 'wet dreams'. Having a natural release without assistance or provocation vs. purposely bringing on that release. At least, that's how I see it.

    And, in my opinion, I think you enter a dangerous place when you start ranking actions on a sin-o-meter.

  2. Not talking about wet dreams. The factory does not need any help from us -- meaning that it does fine on its own producing/releasing. Read the talk if you'd like to understand his POV better. You are right about ranking. I may need to abbreviate that. Thank you

  3. I had a similar experience with a bishop once. I went in to confess to masturbating. He asked how often I did it. When I replied maybe once a week, he said, "If it's not an every day activity don't sweat it."

  4. any religion that would try to call how often you masturbate, earns the distinction of being a cult in my book..

  5. sorry not call but control

  6. Anonymous: The word "cult" and how it is used has always been controversial. A "cult" (used in the pejorative sense) is a subjective term used mostly to attack groups with who have practices different than the norm, or differing doctrines. What is the correlation. What does asking men to not spend and exorbitant amount of time masturbating have to do with cult behavior?

    1. It's about the level of control the Mormon church exerts on its members, sexuality being one of the big ones - telling its members that they shouldn't masturbate, ever, and going as far as to ask them, telling them that they really must marry the opposite sex in order to be worthy of the highest level of heaven. The result of that has been gay Mormon killing themselves on the steps of the Mormon Church. Having secretive ceremonies in a temple that involves Masonic-like costumes and Masonic like hand signals. Convincing members that their church is the one true church. I could go on.
      If you can control someone's sexuality, then you can control the much more easily.
      The myth I think of cults is that they are all like Jim Jones or David Karesh. Not so.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. I so do not agree with you. The very point of earth life, as per Mormons, is to choose for ourselves. I choose how I live and if I want to be able to go to the temple. I know what is done there, and it is no secret. The point of this is that there is a huge degree of choice in the matter -- all that matters. I can choose how I will act or re-act.

      I do not agree that Mormons are part of a cult -- as per it’s older definition or it’s current usage. I thank you for taking the time to express your opinion.

    2. I problem I found with President Packers explanation of wet dreams is this. As a teenager, my wet dreams were accompanied by sexual dreams, usually of the gay variety. My wet dreams were not just a little valve that opened up when my body felt it needed release. I felt as guilty with that happening as if I had done the job manually. I recall hearing him give that speech in priesthood session when I was a teenager myself. I think his explanation was somewhat naive and misleading. It definately didn't help me much at the time.