Saturday, September 13, 2014

Questions I wouldn't ask in Elders Quorum

I recently got a question in the comments section that I felt I should answer. 

The question has the dreaded M word in it, so if that is offensive to you, stop reading and think of pink pony's or granite counter-tops. Here's the question:

(A)re there a lot of you who are gay and Mormon and not having sex? Do you masturbate? Do you think you will be healed in the next life? Will there be sex in the next life?

That is the question.  Not really something for Elders Quorum, is it?  I do prefer real questions in priesthood meeting, but this may be a little too much even for me..

But what a good question for GayMormonMan/PriesthodMen!  I am happy to answer especially since I am using a pseudonym.

(A)re there a lot of you who are gay and Mormon and not having sex?  

Frankly, I have been in both categories.  I have been gay all my life and I have been a Mormon for all my life.  I have been sexually active with men, and I have been not sexually active and trying to maintain morally cleanliness -- took a lot of cleaning, BTW.  

Due to the responses we have had here on the blog and to my e-mail, etc., I would say that there are many who relate to what this blog is about - trying to be worthy to hold the priesthood regardless of one's sexual attraction/disposition. 

From the lifestyle I led while I was sexually active with men, I would also say that there are many guys who are Mormon and are in the closet - with various levels of sexual activity.  I am not thrilled with the many who are closet enough that they are having sex with guys and are pretending to be recommend worthy, but I suppose its better than being dead or a Ute fan.

For the record, I am not having sex with men, and I strive to keep hold of my temple recommend honestly.

Do you masturbate? 

Um...yes. I know that it's a gateway drug and all of that.  I don't do it as much as when I was younger -- how could I and have any life or get anything else done whatsoever.   I don't "M" as much when I really feel connected to other humans, but, yes, I do.

Do you think you will be healed in the next life? 

Generally, yes.  I believe this with all my heart.  However, I have no idea what this will look like.  Will I become an straight, plaid wearing, but smacking alpha male?  I would say no.  Will I be the Calvin Thompson that Heavenly Father had in mind when he created me?  Yes. And I believe that I will get there a lot faster if I keep his commandments.

Will there be sex in the next life?

I have no clue. I know that there will be creation and creating and creativity, but I don't know if that includes sex.

There.  Those are my answers.  Do you, dear reader, have an answer?  Please leave your responses in the comments.  You can do so anonymously and there is no repercussion. This can be something we all learn from.


  1. I think that there a lot of us in both categories.
    I do "M"word more than... well. Frequently.
    I don't know what I need to be healed from.
    I don't think there will be sex in the afterlife.

    1. I respect how each person has to find their own path as they figure out the whole gay and LDS thing. I am from an LDS background but a gay man and happily married to my husband. If one gets more happiness being celibate and LDS more power to them. And personally I see nothing wrong with masturbation. I am sure God has better things to worry about than whether we are touching our genitals. However, unless things have radically changed in the Church, how can one masturbate and be an honest temple recommend holder? When I was active in the Church masturbation was a definite no-no for missionaries and temple recommend holders. Boyd Packer's "little factory" talk in general conference priesthood meeting (I am old enough to have heard it in person) made clear that the only type of release allowed until hetero sex within marriage was wet dreams. Is that no longer true? Or do people just lie if they are asked about masturbation in temple recommend interviews? Or do bishops and stake presidents now avoid asking - a kind of don't ask, don't tell?

  2. Isn't part of being a Mormon to be creative with your use of language? After all our Elders aren't necessarily old. Our bishops aren't like Catholic bishops. Some Mormons even think they can spell gay with the letters s, g and a.

    So do I masturbate. Well, technically yes. But it's not just about what you do, it's also why you do it. Thus I prefer to think of it as keeping my prostate healthy. I brush my teeth. I floss. I also keep my prostate healthy. And with that definition I don't see any conflict between doing that and keeping the law of chastity.

  3. It's funny how quickly things get focused on the m word. I do, by the way. And I think I do believe that there will be healing involved in the life to come. There had better be for all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons. I hope there is sex, or at least something like it.