My religion says "no"

My Mormon religion is very clear on it's stance that marriage is between a man and a woman. I myself believe that marriage is between a man and a woman - one of the reasons, I suppose, that I am a Mormon. 

Specifically, I am a card carrying TBM who is gay and is married to a woman - a rather cool woman if I may add. (There is just no short way to say that) 

The SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality made recently supports the stance that gays have the right to marry based on "equal protection under the law". The supreme court has decided that it is a fundamental right that requires protection by the U.S. constitution. 

I agree with their decision. I am not comfortable excluding those of the GLBT community from this right regardless of my personal religious beliefs.

My friend, John Gustav-Wrathall has stated: 

"The majority and dissenting opinions alike agree that marriage is a fundamental right that deserves protection under the constitution. But there are core differences of opinion on the question of what, precisely, about marriage is fundamental." 

It is clear that the institution of marriage has changed over the course of time, so an argument based on keeping the status quo is unsupportable. That would be akin to the government coming up with an approach of "because I said so". Has that ever had any credibility?

And if there have been any changes to the institution of marriage throughout history (and there have been) then keeping the status quo for it's own sake rings hollow. 

The question is whether or not those of the LGBT community should be allowed access to "marriage". Is marriage dependent on gender as the political right thinks, or is marriage the voluntary union of two consenting adults - as per the left?

Liberals see no reason for those in the LGBT community to be excluded from marriage or denied the right to marry. The conservative take is that liberals want new laws that change the definition of marriage as they themselves have historically interpreted it.

Our 14th Amendment guarantees equal protection. It requires. and we expect that SCOTUS will decide if the laws in question take away fundamental rights and freedoms. Who gave SCOTUS this power?  Why, we did. This has been established by the constitution. 

In this case, the LGBT community has been kept from an institution that has been historically reserved for Heterosexuals. A "yes" vote by SCOTUS has kept us from creating a group Americans without the rights that other Americans have - a minority group that isn't allowed the same privileges as their neighbors have. The court did its job and protected a minority group from discrimination. 

Now, if I may bring a bit of my Mormon religion into it. As I have stated, I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. I support the stance the LDS church takes and I support the right they have to take it. However, I cannot in good conscious force that opinion on others. Neither do I believe that the LDS church wants to force its opinion on others.

There are many things that our rights allow us to do. That doesn't mean that we should. For example, I have the right to speak my mind and picket the funeral of a solder with a tasteless sign. That doesn't mean that I should or that I am going to. But I have that right as per the constitution.

This goes back to the beginning for me - quite literally. Mormons believe - I believe - that we all fought for the right to make our own decisions. Getting married to one of the same gender is a decision. Whether I would make that particular choice is not the question. 

 I do believe that Satan started and will end by trying to destroy the family and I believe that this is part of it. And still, people should have the choice to decide for themselves. We can encourage, plead, suggest, beg, make public the proclamation (which is revelation form the Lord) in order to convince them to make what we feel is the right decision based on our knowledge, but in the long run, we all have agency.

Do gays have the right to marry under the law? Yes. Should they have that right? Yes.

Do I agree that gays should marry?  It just doesn't matter.

Two equal points from this weeks church letter

With a letter directed to all members (read here) LDS church leaders clarified their belief in and commitment to heterosexual unions.

The letter read: "Marriage between a man and a woman was instituted by God and is central to his plan for his children and for the well-being of society." Changes in "civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established," the letter continues. "God expects us to uphold and keep his commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society."

The letter accompanied with a slew of information and background materials was sent to leaders of LDS congregations to share with members -- as per church spokesman Eric Hawkins -- but not in sacrament meeting. The information was intended to be a catalyst for discussion. Members were instructed "to meet with all adults, young men and young women on either July 5 or July 12 in a setting other than sacrament meeting and read to them the entire statement."

The letter and the information presented make it clear that regardless of what civil authorities dictate, Mormon officials "will not employ their ecclesiastical authority to perform marriages between two people of the same sex... and the church does not permit its meetinghouses or other properties to be used for ceremonies, receptions or other activities associated with same-sex marriages."

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as per the letter, have the right to "express and advocate religious convictions on marriage, family and morality free from retaliation or retribution." Due to Religious freedom stipulations in the First Amendment, the SCOTUS ruling does not require that any church recognizes gay marriage unions.

Meanwhile, back at the farm...

While all this affirmation of religious rights is going on, there is an equal message in the same letter given to the membership of the Mormon letter,  "... to love and treat all people with kindness and civility — even when we disagree."

"We affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same-sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully," the letter states. "Indeed, the church has advocated for rights of same-sex couples in matters of hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment, and probate, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches."

These LGBT protections -- those concerning employment housing and fair treatment (the very same protections that had difficulty being heard in years past) -- breezed through the legislative process after the LDS church jumped on the bandwagon, or rather, pulled those supporting LGBT legislation onto their wagon. 

Bottom line?  There are two points the church wants to make.

1) The LDS church supports marriage between a man and a woman only.

2) Everyone is to be treated with respect regardless of their beliefs.

Was this the real battle?

I feel now, and have always felt, that gays should have the same rights under the law to enter into a marriage contract as anyone else does. When marriage is something that takes place in a courtroom, every citizen of the country has the right to sign a contract with anyone else. Here is where I get to say, "This is America, buddy", and sound like a redneck.

I am a politically moderate gay Mormon married man -- just so you know where I am coming from. I firmly believe that the Supreme Court of the United States made the correct decision on the recent gay marriage case correctly.

I am not required to support it on Facebook (though I do). I don't have to like all the rainbow photos (though I got to tell you that I am pleased for my friends who feel validated this week and wish them all the happiness in the world.)  If we have put the federal government in a position where they have to regulate marriage and marriage licensing, then everyone has the right to marry.

The bigger concern for me has always been of freedoms in general. I am not interested in forcing my moral code onto someone else, and I will not have them force theirs upon me.  Some things just feel wrong, and I would fight that fight until my fingers bleed.

The real issue is not that the government gets to regulate marriage for all, but quite the opposite. The government should not be in our homes and in our bedrooms. The fight, the issue we should have been fighting for is not the regulating of marriage but in putting marriage back in the hands of the people.

I support the right of two people to marry and I support the right of a pizzeria to cater any event they choose. I also support the right we have to attend the wedding or patronize that pizzeria – or not.

Where we go from here.  

First things first.  Congratulations to all the new married people. 

Next thing, and I believe the very next thing: There will be those who will use this week’s ruling to aggressively pursue religious institutions who choose not to marry gays -- which is exactly why several religious institutions have been engaged in pushing for personal and religious freedoms protection in courts of law. (Ah, who am I kidding.  I am talking Mormons and Catholics.)

The same morality that conservatives used to exclude homosexuals will now be aimed at those who do not share their personal beliefs. 

Your religion doesn't allow gays to marry?  Take that.

The SCOTUS answered the question in the right way but we should have been asking a different question. Our focus should have been wither we want the U.S. government to have a more say in anyone's marriage? 

What we have done is given the government itself a dose of Viagra. This ruling that we asked the supreme court to make has effectually enhanced the power of the federal government and lessened ours. The feds get to make the decisions now, and it shouldn't be their call. The final say should have been the peoples. 

We should have been trying to restrict government from having more than limited say in the marriage between two people. 

And now, the real battle starts.