Openly gay scouts, but not gay leaders

The Boy Scouts of America today, Thursday May ended its policy of denying membership to openly gay youth. The decision followed years of internal debate and has been seen as a milestone for the Boy Scouts of America. 

1,400 leaders from across the country voted, with 60 percent approving the measure that states that no youth can be denied membership “on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone.”

Top leaders of the Scouts had pursued the monumental change in admission statues while conservative leaders of scouting and right wing parent threaten to withdraw from the organization.    

The decision put scouts in tune with public acceptance of homosexuality, especially among younger supporters currently being courted by the organization as numbers of enrollment fall to all time lows. 

Now the question seems to be, "As boys mature and reach the age of 18 -- legal age as an adult, will they be asked to leave the scouting organization?

Gay rights advocates have vowed to encourage the scouting organization to allow gay members of all ages.

Many conservative organizations claim that gay scouts will be violating the oath to be “morally straight.”

Robert Schwarzwalder, senior vice president of the Family Research Council, who is a conservative Christian group and a father of two scouts in Northern Virginia stated regarding the future of the BSA, “I think there will be a loss of hundreds of thousands of boys and parents.” 

Where does the LDS church stand on the issue?  Will the LSD church back out of scouting because the national organization is allowing gay youth?  I believe they will not.  It would seem consistent with the teachings of the institution to allow those with homosexual inclinations to remain as members of the church in full standing, as long as they obey the law of chasity -- probably easier to do up to the age of 18.

What do you think?  Feel free to comment...       

 

LDS boy comes out

These are not my words.  They are the important words of a mother, and they speak for themselves.  For more information, please see this mothers site at http://theabhaus.blogspot.com/2013/05/it-didnt-happen-overnight.html   Also, she asks that we use wisdom in reposting as this boy still has a life to live.  Thank you, and read on...

Would love to post his photo, but
he is young.  I hope his smile is
as big as this kid's.  Like he says,
 everyone was made how they
are for a reason.

Hi everyone. I have some news. My loving, talented, kind, beautiful, amazing, compassionate, smart son is gay. He came out to us on Friday. As you can imagine, this is very difficult for us, so I am not going to call you all personally and talk about it. I tried. I got through 2 phone calls and it is just too hard. But, Jon wants to be open about this, especially with the family. I am starting with my siblings first because I know what accepting and loving people you all are. I will try to answer some of your questions in this email.
First, this is what we know from Jon. He loves the gospel. So far, nothing has changed with that. He is still a 13 year old boy who is working on his eagle and wants to serve a mission. He is so rooted in the gospel in a way that I will never understand. He and Jake have the testimonies in this house hold for sure. So, that is where we are at now. We will take this day by day and if anything changes, we will support and love him whatever he chooses. He wants to be open about this because he wants to (his words) be an example to other teens that might be struggling with this and know you can be happy and amazing just the way you are. He also said he wants to show that you can still be a part of the gospel and be gay and be happy. This is where he is at right now and I hope you guys can support that. Of course things might change. He is 13. He says he wants to be a beacon of hope for others that might be like him. (his words) I have cautioned him about telling kids his age just yet. Not because he should be ashamed, but because I want to protect him from cruelty and hate for just a little longer. He says he feels so strongly that Heavenly Father made him this way for a purpose and he is perfectly happy with it. He just realized this a week ago. Literally, a week ago he planned on marrying the most beautiful girl, Sierra. He is 13. He saw 2 guys kissing and that made sense to him. He was shocked that it made sense to him. He started to question this and then discovered his preference, physically and emotionally was toward boys. He knows for sure. Jake and I know for sure. As soon as he did some research and confirmed what he thought, he came to us. He has not grappled with this or struggled with shame or depression. He just realized something about himself and told his parents. If any of you know Jon very well, this will not surprise you because he is the most amazing human I have had the pleasure of knowing. If some of you don't know him that well, I feel sorry that you have missed out on this beautiful soul.

Second, this is where I am currently at. I am ashamed to say that I have had some selfish moments thinking about the future I had for him vanish. I have only one child. One shot at grand kids and they are going to come to me in a way that I was not expecting. I am devastated. Jake and I both are. We are first and foremost concerned for Jon and the cruelty that could come his way. He is strong, but we don't want ANYONE to break his beautiful spirit and heart. When he told me, I was sobbing. I asked him to not take that the wrong way. I still loved him, but I was sad for the hard road he now faces. I made it very clear that he is loved and safe and we will help give him the best life any kid could have. But, it felt like a death to me. I mourned the loss of the life I wanted for him. Someday I might feel ashamed of that, but I could not help it. Apparently my feelings are normal and it is all part of the process. I am ok if I talk about logistics, but when I see my grand babies that look just like Jon vanish away, I break down with a sorrow I didn't know humans could feel. That is where I am currently at. For me, I am not concerned for his salvation like some of you will be. I understand this. It's amazing how perspective can change over night. I felt a peace (a Godsend) that he is loved by God. He is a child of God. And I am a loving parent. I cannot imagine creating a beautiful person like Jon and then condemning him for the way I created him. I just can't imagine it. Jake has a sure knowledge of the gospel and this concerns him. This is where he is now. Again, this can all change over time. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if Jon will continue in this gospel that he loves. He is 13. I don't know what life will be like when he is 16. We are taking this one day at a time. All I know is that he has 2 parents that love him deeply. I know he did not choose this. He knows he did not choose this. I think Jon is going to change the world.

Third, I am telling you all this because he asked me to. He accepts and loves people no matter what. He has a compassion that some people strive their whole lives to have. He really feels the world will treat him how he would treat it. He is gifted that way. Please take care of that precious soul and accept him. This is my plea to you, my siblings. For I have always been a mother bear. Once I found out about Jon, that didn't seem a fierce enough title. There is a whole new level of protections that has come over me. I now call myself a Mama Dragon. I could literally breath fire if someone hurt Jon. Dragons have talons, scales, claws, fangs and they can fly. I will use all of these resources if someone were to hurt Jon. Jake said he has a new great fear. He said we need to keep bail money on hand. He is afraid he will physically hurt someone if they hurt Jon. This comes from a man who has never hit another human in his life. Not even his own brother. This says a lot coming from Jake. So, we are circling our wagons around Jon, but I know we can't protect him from everything. And as a Mama Dragon, that is the hardest part of this. I don't know what the future holds. I just know that there will be love.

Fourth, please do not tell your children yet. I would ask that you start a loving dialogue about the gay community. Please, for Jon's sake, teach them that gay people are children of God too and he loves them just as much as he loves you. Teach them compassion. It would crush Jon on a very deep level if hate speech came from his beloved cousins. They are his only siblings and it would crush him. If you love Jon at all, please help us in this. When you feel that your child is ready to hear it, please let us know and we will let them know. Jon needs to be enveloped in love right now. He will get plenty of hate from a world that simply does not understand. His road will be hard enough. I ask this other favor of you all. I know everyone will have strong opinions on how I should handle this. I appreciate your concern. Just know that I am his mother. I have been given the great privilege of raising him. I will do what I think is best for him. Jake and I both will. I do appreciate any resources of reading information about this world that we are now plunging into. I have read more about this loving community that he is now a part of than in my whole life. It's overwhelming it's scary. It's sad. It's everything. I can't tell you I will be perfect, but I will do my best. I appreciate any support any of you are capable of giving. I also understand that some of you will really struggle with this. I will do my best to understand where you are coming from. Thank you for reading this. 

With love,

 

Straighter talk about (euphemism here) or, Hands off, you Fiend!

I think I was wrong in my last essay.

I implied that masturbation was a small thing that may, or may not, need to be handled correctly.  (I can't avoid all the puns, so I'm not going to try. Stop giggling.)

Now, I do speak from some experience.  OK, a lot of experience.  I could have been crowned the king of M-ing -- and that is all I am going to get into here in the blog.  Let it suffice that I know what I am speaking about.

For years I wished I was not gay, and that I could stop masturbating.  Those two things took up almost all my wishes for half of my life.  I don't know which brought me more shame -- to have feelings toward guys, or to remind myself of my desires three or four... well, they were both mind numbing from age 12-13 to my mid thirties.

Last week in a blog I said that it probably wasn't such a big deal, and we all had a small chuckle over the wording by President Packer that was supposed to help us to...not do what we were doing. 

And I more than implied that there were worse things a guy could do. It's not my job to rank sins.    Frankly, how you deal with sexual desires is not my concern, and I shouldn't be commenting one way or another.  Please forgive me for coming close to giving you any instruction on the matter.  I will stick to speaking for myself.



Mild mannered, unassuming, in control.

For myself, I think of masturbating and smoking to be a lot alike.  Both could be called "gateway" activities, both could lead to more serious transgressions, both take a reasonable amount of self control.  Both are a bugger to stop once you've started. Would I stear you away from smoking?  Yes, I would.

Some say that the church is trying to control our lives.  I don't say that.  I say that the church wants us to be in control of our lives. I am pro-Mormon church because I think that the Mormon church wants what is best for us, as well as an organization of humans on earth can.

I am older, and masturbating is not as big a deal for me as it was in my youth.  Self control has only a small percentage to do with that.  The difference has been maturity, and by that, I mean age.  My sexual desires are tame now in comparison to what they were in my college years & anything in the proximity -- one of the reasons I try to let young gay men know that there is wisdom in letting time fly.

I cant speak for straight guys.  I think that it is sometimes bad for them, but that is not my area of expertise.  Still, letting time pass and getting married, or growing older, or a number of things tames the beast considerably.

The best I can offer at this point is that your sexuality is between you and the Lord.  It sounds silly -- the thought that you would share that information with the Lord, but he knows anyway, and he can help you through whatever you are going through.

I can say this without feeling like I had stayed past my welcome.  Guilt and pain may be helpful in appropriate doses.  But carrying them around as penance for masturbating doesn't seem right.  Your call, though.

    

Straight talk for those SSA'ed about masturbating

The first time I heard about masturbation was a priesthood session of general conference. The speaker talked of a little factory producing a product, and if you kept taking from the factory, it would continue to churn out the stuff. If you didn’t take from it’s supply then it would peter out and not produce as much.

I went back and found the talk. Here is the part I mention:

This little factory moves quietly into operation as a normal and expected pattern of growth and begins to produce the life-giving substance. It will do so perhaps as long as you live. It works very slowly. That is the way it should be. For the most part, unless you tamper with it, you will hardly be aware that it is working at all. As you move closer to manhood, this little factory will sometimes produce an oversupply of this substance. 

The Lord has provided a way for that to be released. It will happen without any help or without any resistance from you. Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess.  

The factory and automatic release work on their own schedule. The Lord intended it to be that way. It is to regulate itself. This will not happen very often. You may go a longer period of time, and there will be no need for this to occur. When it does, you should not feel guilty. It is the nature of young manhood and is part of becoming a man.   BK Packer  http://www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtml

　
At the time, I had no idea what factory he was talking about. The only factory I knew of was by the river in my home town that produced jerky, and the GA's wisdom simply didn’t apply to meat… Little did I know.

It's just what I thought, dude. 
You need to get another hobby

I have spent 3/4s of my life feeling bad about masturbating. Not just masturbation - as in something that was sinful, but as in something I did on regularly that was sinful.

Please don't ask how regularly.  Let me just say that if I spent as much time on something else I could have put myself through law school, and would have three Gina Bachauer trophies sitting on my piano.  

In my twenties I remember thinking in a prayer, OK, I cant have sex with somebody else, and I can’t have it with myself. Just what do I do?

My bishop at a student ward told all of us during an elders quorum meeting that he didn’t care and didn’t want to know about masturbation as long as you did your business by yourself, and there was no pornography involved. 

Those two years were the most spiritually free I remember feeling throughout puberty, teen life, and college -- those two years he was bishop. I wasn’t so frantic and ashamed. I smiled more. I talked to the guys sitting next to me in priesthood meeting. I even taught a few of those meetings without feeling like I was a self abusing, MOHOing fool.

Play, boy!  Play for your life!

How about those straight boys?  They had much the same problem.  In fact, every guy there could have had the same problem, gay or straight.  Straight guys could get married and alleviate the situation, but that's for another discussion.
Now that I am older, I tend to think that what I do and who I do it with is none of anyone’s business. I feel only accountable to my wife and the lord through the bishop. He doesn’t ask me if I masturbate occasionally. I would tell him if he asked. I feel like an adult human male.

If I had the pressure and the urging of youth today, in middle age, I wonder how I would feel?  With what I know about the temple and being a man, would I still masturbate as regularly as when I was 15 through 30?

Masturbation, unto it self (so to speak) is not the issue it has been made. I am not your bishop or spiritual adviser, so I would never give anyone advise.  Rather that focusing on not doing something, focus on reading scriptures or serving others, or home teaching, or a countless number of other things and feel good about where you are going.

BK Packer, in that same talk also said this, that I missed hearing the the first time around:

"The power to prevent such habits or to break them rests in your mind, not in your body. Don't let that physical part of you take charge. Stay in control. Condition your body to do the will of your mind."    

The talk makes more sense with emphasis placed on those last few sentences.  Readers, (understanding that this is a sight that supports the LDS church as well as being gay) what say you?