Straighter talk about (euphemism here) or, Hands off, you Fiend!

I think I was wrong in my last essay.

I implied that masturbation was a small thing that may, or may not, need to be handled correctly.  (I can't avoid all the puns, so I'm not going to try. Stop giggling.)

Now, I do speak from some experience.  OK, a lot of experience.  I could have been crowned the king of M-ing -- and that is all I am going to get into here in the blog.  Let it suffice that I know what I am speaking about.

For years I wished I was not gay, and that I could stop masturbating.  Those two things took up almost all my wishes for half of my life.  I don't know which brought me more shame -- to have feelings toward guys, or to remind myself of my desires three or four... well, they were both mind numbing from age 12-13 to my mid thirties.

Last week in a blog I said that it probably wasn't such a big deal, and we all had a small chuckle over the wording by President Packer that was supposed to help us to...not do what we were doing. 

And I more than implied that there were worse things a guy could do. It's not my job to rank sins.    Frankly, how you deal with sexual desires is not my concern, and I shouldn't be commenting one way or another.  Please forgive me for coming close to giving you any instruction on the matter.  I will stick to speaking for myself.



Mild mannered, unassuming, in control.

For myself, I think of masturbating and smoking to be a lot alike.  Both could be called "gateway" activities, both could lead to more serious transgressions, both take a reasonable amount of self control.  Both are a bugger to stop once you've started. Would I stear you away from smoking?  Yes, I would.

Some say that the church is trying to control our lives.  I don't say that.  I say that the church wants us to be in control of our lives. I am pro-Mormon church because I think that the Mormon church wants what is best for us, as well as an organization of humans on earth can.

I am older, and masturbating is not as big a deal for me as it was in my youth.  Self control has only a small percentage to do with that.  The difference has been maturity, and by that, I mean age.  My sexual desires are tame now in comparison to what they were in my college years & anything in the proximity -- one of the reasons I try to let young gay men know that there is wisdom in letting time fly.

I cant speak for straight guys.  I think that it is sometimes bad for them, but that is not my area of expertise.  Still, letting time pass and getting married, or growing older, or a number of things tames the beast considerably.

The best I can offer at this point is that your sexuality is between you and the Lord.  It sounds silly -- the thought that you would share that information with the Lord, but he knows anyway, and he can help you through whatever you are going through.

I can say this without feeling like I had stayed past my welcome.  Guilt and pain may be helpful in appropriate doses.  But carrying them around as penance for masturbating doesn't seem right.  Your call, though.