Friday, October 1, 2010

Love the Quarterback, Hate the Pass

It is conference weekend and already I am in a spiritual quandary.  Actually, conference weekend doesn't begin until Saturday, but I sit here listening to Greg Wrubell on the sports radio channel in tears: Big sad spiritual waterings of the soul tears.  The question I have for God is this:

How do I love my team and hate the losing? 

I am taking down the BYU flag I have hung for every game since Bronco Mendenhall was resurrected out of the dole drums of Jr staffing, thinking about how much I liked him immediately.  After all, his name was Bronco.  I have watched as he drove a Harley around Utah County for good cause, and defend Austin Collie when the youngster was a tiny bit zelot-ish.  I have listened to his kidney cars commercials and smiled to myself remembering that he was a man made for other things that personal appearance's and reading in public.  He is the man to lead my team to glory - even now that we are 1 and 4 on the year.

I am folding the flag to put away for next week.  Did I take my flag down a little more quickly after the game was over?  Do I need to wash it out to get some of the bad luck dirt out?  What do I do, being proactive, to further my team to greatness.  I am willing to bear some of the responsibility.  There is no need to get down on Bronco or any of the coaching staff for these losses.  I am a faithful latter day saint.  I pay ten percent of my income to the church in tithes.  Let me be the one to take the brunt, let me offer myself when the questions come from the unfeeling press.

It was my fault the offence couldn't get its collective head out of the hole.  The blame is mine that the true freshman Quarterback is drooling on the ball so that it slips out of the hands of capable receivers.

So put up my photo on the wall next to Lavell and Gary and Bronco and toss the darts at me.  If I has done what I know to do from my gospel doctrine class I would have had enough faith to move mountains or at least to move the ball on a third down and two.  My faith could have redirected rivers, called down the heavens or added some stick to a few passes for JJ De.

WTF?:  Where's The Faith?  Where was the faith of so many of the righteous brethren and cistern of the state.  How do we learn from our mistakes so that these poor men who weigh over 250 pounds and eat bison for breakfast wont starve emotional and spiritually and remember the training of their forefathers and the smack talk of their fore mothers and girlfriends.

How do I become a proactive peace of the solution instead of the beaten down old man who wears his BYU Football tie to priesthood session but has to sit in the back where it's dark and everyone is on their Ipads.  How to I drag myself out of bed to rise and shout for a team that got beat by...Utah State - there, I've said it!

Maybe I should Join the Catholics as an honorary leprechaun. I love me my Lucky Charms, and I can pretend that genuflecting is just a cheer. At least it doesn't seem to matter when their school looses. - mostly due to what I think is a healthy sense of self, but may also because they get silly snookered after the games.  We'll just call Cosmo "Lucky" and make him carry around a pot of gold.

Go BYIrish!


  1. Heard in confrence that we should not belittle others teams. So I am not going to say nuthon.