Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Where You Stand Is Just As Important As Where You Sit

I started blogging a year and a half ago when I decided I had thoughts that I wasn't going to be covered in my regular humor column.  I wanted this blog to be a better representation of what is meant to be gay and Mormon. 

Many of these blogs are gay and ex Mormon and represent an attitude of, I was raised Mormon and for better or for worse, it has had this effect on my as I live my life as a homosexual., and I am not a Mormon now but understand the culture. A very valid point.  There are other types of blogs out and available to be read and to befrended.  When I started involving myself in the MoHoBlogasphear, I frended up any, or just about every MoHo blog I could find. Some of them petered out on their own, and others took strange directions.  My interest was always in those Mormons who had, through whatever self awareness had figured out their statues as a homosexual.  There are those who are still in the thought about it, been on my own but with no one else area, some who have acted on the feelings into actual gay behaviors, and some who have experienced these things who have returned to full fellowship in the church.

I myself, Calvin Thompson,have been through each of these.  Currently, and for the last 10 years I have been married to an opposite sex attracted (normal) girl and we have kids.  I am owner of a temple recommend, and I did not lie to get it.  Let me repeat that I am gay.

I would really like to know where you stand.  Could you leave me a note telling me where on the board you stand, and if you are privy to one other life also, that would be good.  I am dieing to know.

21 comments:

  1. I am a divorsed father of two. I am in the church, but the rumer is out that I am gay, and people are polite. I want to stay in the church and keep a temple recomend

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  2. I have been excommunicated from the LDS Church and live with my partner, who I love very much. I still attend my LDS ward, though, and feel like I still have a testimony, and my relationship with the LDS Church remains a positive one.

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  3. I am a gay female, married to a man, with 3 children. I was ex'd a few years ago, rebaptized one year later... my temple blessings have not been restored. I have stopped going to church. H and the kids still attend. My husband and I get along great, but we are most likely heading toward divorce. I am in the process of coming out to the people closest to me.

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  4. I am a questioning male (I vacillate over whether I think I am gay or bisexual, but my fear of a gay reality has prevented me from letting myself experience anything that would sort out my feelings) who has never had so much as a romantic relationship (there you go), and I've always been very active.

    Since I've been back from my mission for a few years, it's finally dawned on me that I cannot accept a life of celibacy, but I'm finding that I probably will need to become comfortable at least with the idea of being in a homosexual relationship or else I will be too afraid to try any relationship at all. My testimony goes all over the place, sometimes really strong, sometimes really weak, but I think that whatever I end up doing to be true to myself, I will always stay close to the church and participate as much as I feel comfortable.

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  5. I'm a divorced father of 2. I ran the gamut of LDS ward leadership callings up to bishop's counselor and a brief stint in a high council. I am no longer active in the church and I'm in a relationship with a man (don't live together yet, but in time). I don't discount the value of the church, I just don't see a place for me in it, even if for some obscure reason they decided to allow gays into full fellowship, but I like being a cultural Mormon mainly because of where I live.

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  6. I am a straight, recovering Mormon female with lots, and lots , and lots of gay friends. I of course support my dear friends in whatever choice they make. I do not understand the decision to stay in the church- although I admire how some work so hard to make it work. I have come to the conclusion that the path to enlightenment or just life is different for everyone, and that, for me, it is more important to live my life the way I was raised and have those values reflect in my action toward my fellow humans, instead of the confines of organized religion.

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  7. I knew I was gay by the time I was 10, when I was 14 the missionaries showed up our family door and I was converted to the church, I made a commitment during my teens to live a straight life and follow the teachings of the church. I served a mission, I have married in the temple and have two wonderful children. I hold a Temple recommend and I have earned it honestly by living the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. To say that my commitment has been easy would be a lie, it is very difficult. I am nearing 50 and I am very lonely for male friends. I don't fit the normal LDS man mold. I don't like sports or politics for starters. I have a difficult time talking with LDS men. I often feel as if I don't know how to be a real man. I still have a strong Testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I pray every day to not be burdened with the curse of homosexuality.

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  8. I am an active church member with several callings. Married for 15 years with 3 kids. I've known since early adolescence that my sexuality wasn't weighted to the far right of hetero. But I didn't come to terms with my gay leanings until years after being married. Instead I spent years denying the attractions I have. And for the last several years, I've hoped the attractions would go away. Now, after losing confidence in the church's position on this issue, I refuse to be ashamed any longer. I've spent my life until now in self-loathing, anger, despair, and hopelessness, as I believed this was my "cross to bear" or that I did not demonstrate enough faith for this burden to be removed. I no longer believe this to be the case. I haven't renewed my temple recommend and don't really have a desire to return to the temple. I can't say I believe everything the church leaders say, because 10-15 years of my life were utter hell because I believed what they said, while now they admit they don't know why some are burdened with this issue. And I'm in the beginning stages of figuring out what this means for me, my marriage, and my future. I'm seeing a therapist that is not Mormon, and although my goal is to remain married, I will consider all options as I figure out how to be happy. No longer living this lie and keeping all my secrets has been a mild relief, as I've discussed this issue with several friends. Denying my sexuality has been like dying a slow death of lonely, self-inflicted pain. - Dave

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  9. Married with a wonderful woman in the Temple for 2.5 years. I am "gay" (or SSAed or what have you). Our first child is on the way. I'm active in the church and worthily hold a Temple Recommend.

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  10. I have been married to a woman for nearly 7 years and we have a four year old son. I wasn't able to accept being attracted to men until I had a crisis of faith and lost my testimony. Now I am trying to fit all the peices of my life together without my religious foundation and facing my sexuality with honesty.

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  11. I am a father of two how is SGAttraxred, I told my wifr when I knew of the words to say that I could understandmyself. I have not ever stepped our on her, but I do masterbate sometimes, and i think about men, What we have is good - not all sex all the time, but we feel ok about it, and I am netting that after is all is said and done that we will remain married. There could be far worse, and now that kids are involved, we will make it wirk and work well.

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  12. My husband has 3 kids, we have been married for just under 10 years, married in the temple. He has been gay for the 40 years he can remember! He served a mission wothily, has never acted on his homosexuality. He has always been a member of the church, raised LDS, and has always known that although he is gay, there is truth to Heavenly Fathers plan and acting on those feelings is not for worthly members of the church. He does not drink, smoke, have any kind of sex that I don't know about or that would make him "uworthy", was a virgin when we married, and does not indulge in porn of any kind to "curb" his homosexual desires. He holds a temple recommend, teaches elders quarem and is a ward clerk.
    From the things you write here, I see you two are very much the same, with many same ideas and thoughts.
    He told me about his being gay before we were married, I knew it, accepted it.

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  13. I have been married for 15 years and have four incredible children that I adore. I grew up in the church and served a mission. I am active in the church and hold a temple recommend. I've known that I was gay since I was ten or eleven and it never really bothered me until about eight years ago. I told my bishop and he was very supportive. He and I decided not to tell my wife, and she still doesn't know to this day. I have a testimony of the doctrine of the church but have a hard time with the culture (I know that nobody in the church is perfect, including priesthood leaders). I am very happy with the life that I live, although it can be very difficult at times. I've come close to cheating on my wife, but never have, and hope that I never do. I have to live one day at a time to get through sometimes, but I believe it has all been worth it. Someday I will tell my wife, but it may still be awhile. I married my wife because I was attracted to her and loved her, and that was enough for me, and still is.

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  14. I am a gay male who is out. I live with my partner of 3 years, however, due to my choice to remain active in the Church we live more of a roommate style life. We do not share a bed, we do not engage in sexual behavior, we are lightly affectionate toward one another. But we are happy to be together, he does not agree with my Mormon lifestyle, but he accepts it and deals with it. My Bishop knows I have a partner and that we are not sexually active together. I am working toward getting my Temple Recommend back soon! I love the Gospel and have been a member for 8 years.

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  15. I am married and gay. I have positions in the ward, and I think I am considered a good guy - even though I have made some very public mistakes. My wife loves me, though she is miffed at my attraction - doesnt get it. I wish I were different. Until then, I will act like the man I want to be.

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  16. I am a Mormon Gay man, And I am not as much a part of church things anymore. I was in the High Counsel and I think People liked me, and I worked hard to connect with people of my assigned ward and the people that I affected every week. When another council man found out I was gay, it was over. None thought the members would understand - even though I have a wife and a temple recommend. I am very sad today, but hopeful that things on at least on coerce to change which would allow us all to be what the lord expects of us - leaving behind the judgements of others.

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  17. I am agay man. I am a Mormon man. I don’t suffer from SGA or any of the other nice words used for homosexuals. I am gay. I know that I can’t make it to the celestial kingdom while I want to be with a man emotionally and sexually. It may be wrong, it may not be, but I am not going to be one of the ones that gets to create worlds. I may not even get to be a ministering angel. I just want to be happy. I just want to live a good life. I know Mormons have an eye to one goal. What if mine is different? What if I don’t want to rule, I only want to belong?

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  18. I am a BYU student. I am Mormon. I am attracted to other guys. I have made covenants that I will keep. I hope to marry in the temple someday to someone who knows everything about me. I don't know if this will ever happen, and that scares me. I want to be a righteous husband and father and will continue to work towards that end.

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  19. I am a gay married man of 16 years. I didn't marry until I was 37. After my mission I had many relationships with different men. All the while I thought my "condtion" was disgusting and that I needed to repent. I left the church (not ex'd) for a while then decided I needed to come back. That's when the marriage happened. I told my wife before we married about my past. About 2 years ago I fell apart mentally. I contemplated suicide. Then I told my wife that hard as I tried, the gay wouldn't go away. I've come to accept that I am gay and won't change. We are working to keep our marriage strong. I have 5 wonderful kids. Initially I was angry at the church, but now understand my happiness was up to me the whole time. It wasn't the church's fault I left my values at the door when I became sexually active as a young man. But at the same time I wish I hadn't had it drilled into me how evil I was. Luckily I walked away from that life without contracting a disease. Though I go to church, I'm distant and no longer understand where I fit in in that regard. I love my wife and kids and can't imagine leaving them, yet I think it is seldom if ever justifiable for a gay person to marry a straight person.

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  20. Hey. I have only read a few posts, but have enjoyed them. From reading the response comments to this post, I am not surprised to see such a wide variety of gay Mormons. I have gotten to know a lot of them over the year. Some are still active, some are not. Some are no longer members. Some are married, others single, others partnered. It is fascinating and a testimony (so to say) to human nature hearing their stories and strengths.

    I am 40 years old. I am LDS and I am gay. I was born gay, but didn't realize it until I was around 10-11 years old (of course). It hasn't bothered me, although it has taken some time to understand how to deal with it myself. I am currently active in the church. I continue to say that time will tell where I am tomorrow. I have been in some very healthy straight and gay relationships. However, I have never been married. I chose not to put someone else through that.

    G' Luck on your life and goals.

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  21. I'm gay but I love to collect men's church suit. Love them especially that I'm in a blues band.

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