Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thankful to be Gay

How do you steer this thing?
I made a decision some time ago that I was not going to pursue any further relationship with the gay lifestyle/way of life.  I would not pursue sexual relationships with men, nor would I remain tied socially to those of my friends who did.  Part of that promise, sadly,  became easier to follow through with as several of my closest friends died of AIDS related illnesses.  Most of the rest of them thought that either I would be back after a quick conservative Sunday sabbatical, or that I was a weak minded freak that actually could be lead away on whims - this time by the Mormon church.
When anyone makes a decision in his life, it becomes like jumping of a plane with a parachute.  The wind and currents, despite the best efforts of the one gliding will take one in directions never imagined once that first commitment was made.

Since I mad my commitment to not pursue that as a style of living or way of attraction, or even a culture, my life has taken twists and turns - many frightening, many lovely.  I am not where I saw myself to be in ten years, but neither am I in a wrong or bad place.  I am better off for the choices I made.  I hope my family feels the same.

This year my thanksgiving thoughts are not thinly veiled wishes or further needs discussed in prayer.  When I say thank you for what I have, I mean it.  I don't really need much more to make me happy.  Little more money, little more time perhaps, little more kindness shown and doled out from me certainly.  But I am happy.

Never thought I would ever say that when I was younger and in the throws of SGA.  Maybe the idea of given ourselves to Him was the thing to do and to continue.  It seems like he is willing to keep his promises when we do.

Being gay has given me a lot that I would never have developed had I bean born straight.  I believe that I am what I am today because of the challenges God gave me - all of them.  I believe that we grow from facing challenges head on, when we own them, when we embrace them.  I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.


  1. I agree with your assesment. I'm thankful for the challenges and unique perspective being gay gives me. I cannot imagine being anything other than who I am now.

  2. Cal, It's always a pleasure to read your blog! I just want to say that I am super pleased that someone is out there with the right idea! It's really a nice thing that there is someone who knows the truth, and is not deterred from sharing it! So many many people don't understand, and I think they know what you are saying is true. I just wish more people could read your blog! I too am thankful for this unique challenge in my life as it gives me a chance to admit that I'm not capable of handling this problem all by myself and realize that someone else is there to walk me through! thx David

  3. Hooked on your blog. I am not mormon or infact religious at all. I am very liberal and believe everyone should live with and love whom they want - with no fear of judgement or damnation. It's so interesting to read another point of view. Thank you!

  4. Great blog spot. Wish more people would read it.