Monday, February 28, 2011

My Own Damn Fault

He probably would have responded better...
Open Letter to a Facebook "Friend":

You got me. I thought you were just interested in knowing my POV. However it now looks like you googled "naive Mormon gay guy" until you found someone who would be kind enough to answer a question or two.

You led off your correspondence with “Personally (in regard to your mixed orientation marriage)I believe that you are incorrect.”  With a whole slew of differences between us, this may be the biggie. I do not claim to be in a position to judge anyone else – a task I am grateful that Christ has claimed for only himself. Though I am an arrogant, arrogant man, and even I wouldn’t dare.

For you to tell me over face book – without ever meeting me – that I am not fair to my wife because we don't seem to fit into your idea of marriage is downright silly and is reminiscent of the arguments we are used to hearing from those who oppose gay marriage.  What would you think if, in all my ignorance, I said something silly like your marriage is a sham because it doesn't fit into my notion of what a real relationship is? Would you be as upset as I am? Putting down/minimizing my relationship with my wife is uncalled for.

I have never said it is sinful to be gay, and for you to assume that because I am a Mormon I am anti-gay is rash - and mistaken.  I will never say such a thing. I do not believe that God makes mistakes. He made me what I am. I am betting He did the same for you. I believe in personal revelation. I believe that His son, the Lord Jesus Christ can guide me through the Holy Spirit, through modern prophets, and through scripture.

I am making no comparisons to other churches and their beliefs or observances, not do I use their practices to dictate or confirm my own beliefs. Another church may allow, permit or consent to a number of things. In my church, the men don’t make the rules. It is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe that Jesus Christ makes the rules. I am in the church I am in because I have researched and made a choice. Sounds like you have, too.

I appreciate your choice and honor your right to it.  Wither I agree with it or not is no ones business and I would never volunteer my opinion to anyone other than my wife, from whom I have no secrets.   By the same token, It is not your place to offer me unsolicited feedback concerning where you think I am wrong.  I may have to concede this argument because I have invited others, to a degree, into my personal life by the very nature of this blog.

Yes I am gay. I am gay, and so much more. I am a husband and a father and an artist and a writer. I am a softball coach and a choir director. I am an author and a blogger. I teach sometimes when they asked me in my church, and I strive to be worthy to use the priesthood (not just a calling but authority and power) actively by following the commandments/rules that God has asked of me. I know what he has asked of me because I listen to the words of his prophets.

I write a blog for gay Mormons because of what I thought of as a dearth of information available and I thought I could help those who feel as I do about their own lives and the direction the Lord wants for them. It is not for all, and it is not for many. But it is for a few.

I am not aggressively judging anyone one else. Including you. I would never tell you you are wrong, or smile and patronize and claim that you "just don’t understand", and I am a little miffed as to why you seem to take that stance toward me.

I am Gay.  I am a Mormon.  I have a temple recommend - meaning I am card carrying.  I'm not going anywhere.  Google that.

And, yes, I do feel better now.


  1. I appreciate your blog, this post, and your perspective. Keep it up. :)

  2. Now, more than ever, I am glad I am your friend, a Mormon and a fruitcake. I am in good strong, holy company.

  3. I'm not sure if this was a real letter to you or if you are making a point, but point taken. How dare we put anyone down - espesally those of us in this situation. We are brothers.

  4. Anyone starts into my church or into my personal beliefs, or my family and I am just going to have to hunt them down and make then clean my animal cages. I a suprised that we put up with this kind of crap from facebook friends and internet buddies. Maybe this is what the general authorities meant by defending the church. In which case, brother thompson is doing well.

  5. Awesome. It's good to see someone stand for what they believe. Cal, I don't know how interested you are in activism, but a few BYU students in Provo have put together some discussion panels about understanding same-gender attraction. If you would be interested in being on a panel--to answer questions and help others understand that one can be gay and mormon, then we'd love to have you (and your wife if she'd be willing).

  6. I agree. I think one side has been getting all the attention. It's become fashionable to cap on mormons, and Brother Thompson, you are a weird one who is going to get capped on a lot. Get used to it and keep fighting.

  7. As one representing the other side of the Opposite Gendered Attracted marriage, let me thank you for speaking up. Funny how the bigot in us comes out so quickly and in so many ways. PC is starting to mean opinion by “popular consensus”. And the loud can say whatever they want. I am a minority in the middle of a minority (married to a gay guy). I am neither ignorant, nor hard up. And we are doing well, thank you.

  8. Thank you for your testimony. My husband and I have been married 37 years. He is from that generation that was told, "Get married, that will cure you." Consequently, I didn't know til six years ago. He has a testimony and is a "Card Carrying" priesthood holder, has served in Elders Quorums, Bishoprics and other callings. It hasn't been easy at times, two suicide attempts, depression but there is so much more. He loves his children and me. I am a lucky woman to have this wonderful man for my husband. We too trust in a loving Heavenly Father. My husband believes Paul when he talked about, "the thorn in my flesh" found in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 . I'm grateful for your blog. and your message. Thank you.

  9. I Love your honesty. I think you are a kind person and I love your way of thinking. I wish many people were like you. This world would be a much better and happier place.
    As About you being gay. You should never. I mean never ever have to apologize for it. It is your life. You own the copyright to it. Case dismissed. Soon I will come to read the rest of your posts. I will link to your blog as well from mine.