Thursday, April 18, 2013

What would you be if I weren't gay? Or... Would I be gay if you didn't drink?

I recently started to read a blog written by an alcoholic.

First off, is everyone who has made the decision not to drink an alcoholic? I suppose if they were just a person deciding not to drink, staying dry would hardly be an issue to blog about -- just someone not drinking. It seems to turn into an issue if the person not drinking wants to drink but has decided it is in his best interest not to -- for what ever reason.

His states-of-being, all of them -- mental, physical, possibly emotional -- want to drink, but he over-rides that desire or longing and abstains. (Is this what is meant by overcoming the natural man, or are they speaking of something more etheral?)

...And we have so much in common!

I always get into trouble when I compare my issue, being attracted to my own sex -- gay, as it were -- to anything else. Any metaphor is inadequate and incomplete. I keep doing it, however, and will again here.

Is being SSA’ed only an issue if I don’t want the SS attraction? If I believed that same sex attr… oh, heck. I’m just gonna say "gay." If being gay fit in with my belief system -- my states of being -- sociologically, emotionally/ mentally, religiously/ spiritually -- would my body fit in better than I seem to currently being married to a woman and staying faithful to her?

(Just a thought. Is there any straight man whose sexuality does not fit in with his belief system?  Or is it more correct to wonder if there is any man who doesn't have a problem being straight, but wishes he could overcome the porno or the casual sex? And this is why I blog.

If I felt I had the Lords OK to be gay, would I be living that lifestyle? Would I have a partner, would I be trying to have a family? Would I be living as many hetros do and remain uncommitted as I played the field in one of its many different forms ( Would I be a man that needed good health care coverage, a man about town, or someone who is more discrete,

I think along the same lines about my involvement in the church. If I was not a member of the LDS church -- no being raised in Idaho (I know that raised is for cattle and crops, but I am not gonna say reared,… just not gonna) no mission, or Rick’s College or BYU, no temple or priesthood -- would I be looking for something to make my life worth while? Or, would I be happy where I was, drinking spritzers in a nice flat in a good neighborhood back east with my partner, Stan. Stan the man.
Think of all the professional
contacts I can make!

Would I be involved in any church, or would I be someone who believed that God is love, everywhere and nowhere.

Would I give to charity voluntarily? Or would someone be garnishing my wages because I didn’t pay my bills. And what would I do with all these cans of tuna and powered milk?

Right now I am sort of a closet republican.  Would I still be, or would I be something else out and about?

Please, don't let me be a Jets fan, or worse.  A Ute fan.

Who would I be if I wasn’t who I am? And is any of this my decision to make?

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