Friday, January 9, 2015

Who are you to tell me that I am not being honest with myself?

"These men who are on the show "My Husband's Not Gay"are not being honest with themselves."

I hear this and my blood boils.

Before I spout, let me state that I am not even tempered like Ty Mansfield. He is a handsome younger gentleman with biceps and natural color in his hair. He leads the North Star group and is a rational, PC kinda' dude.

I am not him. I am a just a rather off-kilter bizarre normal-looking married Mormon homosexual who follows the teachings of the LDS church.  I don't have a lot of authority or hidden angst for that matter. I support the LDS church. I support agency as well. Now that I have reiterated that point...

...let me just say, how on earth is anyone able to determine another human being's level of self awareness/honesty? "He's not being honest with himself" is often what is said when someone doesn't agree with "his" point of view. It goes along with the phrase "this is how 'he' should be living".  

There it is again in the online comments section this phrase in the comments for The View's report on the upcoming show about married gay Mormons. "They are not being honest with themselves." - referring to the MarMoMHo's featured on the show.

Here is one of the comments I refer to: "People can of course choose to do what they want with their life. But to put this on a show, it needs to be clear that it is a very dysfunctional harmful thing to do to not be honest with yourself." 

Yes, that's right. Do what you want, but you're screwing it up. Just one step removed from "when you fall down and break you're leg, don't come running to me".

At least there is a voice of reason in the national market. Read what The View host Sara Gilbert has to say:

 "I think if you're on a show called My Husband's Not Gay, then your husband's gay. But I also think there is a reverse bullying in the gay community where you can't do it a certain way and - I'm sure this is controversial - but I think if a guy is attracted to guys and he wants to try to live a straight lifestyle that is as much his prerogative than somebody who wants to live a gay lifestyle."Sara Gilbert, responding to criticism of the show.

Isn't that interesting?  She explains exactly what I have been feeling. I am a married Mormon homosexual. A few of us are doing it our own way, and that seems to drive a vocal few mad.  I can't tell you how many people have send me emails or messages that they were dropping me because they had thought I was cool but clearly I am not.

Well, yes I can: 12 in the last week -- not including unexplained drops in Facebook friends.
(There could be other reasons as well for the drops. I can be a little confrontational)

I want to quote Sara again.  "I think if a guy is attracted to guys and he wants to try to live a straight lifestyle that is as much his prerogative than somebody who wants to live a gay lifestyle."



  1. Me again. Just wanted to let you know that while we do not see eye to eye on everything, I totally support and respect your right to live the life that you want, and appreciate that you offer me the same respect as a gay man with an LDS background who is married to a man. I like the non preachy live and let live attitude of your blog, and I will certainly continue to read and enjoy it.

  2. That is like the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week.