Gays on the fringe

I expect this weekend to be an issue free zone for general conference -- if there is such a thing. I do not think that hot topic political issues will be brought up. Nor do I think that they should. I think that this conference will be about family's (natural and created), and the Savior.

It has been a political six months since the last conference. Church leaders said in a recent press conference that they would not -- and could not -- alter opposition to gay marriage. They called such unions, "contrary to the laws of God."

Sister Neill Marriott, a leader in the church's women's organization said that the commandments and doctrines come from sacred scripture and "we are not at liberty to change it".

I understand this view. If, as we claim, we belong to The Church of Jesus Christ, then He is the one who would give instruction to change or adjust. That she states that He would need to make the change is right.

I wondered at the statement that "it is written in scripture".  That as the sole reason for the status-quo would seem to exclude revelation -- on which the LDS church is based. Some of LDS doctrines do not come from scripture but by revelation from the Lord to the prophet.

But that wasn't the important part as far as I am concerned.

"But, God is loving and merciful," Marriott continued. "Jesus ministered to marginalized outcasts, she said by way of example, while also obeying religious commandments." Read - He hung out with those who needed him, and those weren't the upper class, best dressed, magnificently smelling bunch.

Jesus ministered to the people on the margins, on the fringe, on the verge. To the insignificant and the peripheral. He served those who were relegated to being unimportant or powerless in the society.

I am one of these, by the way. I don't have any social status. My bank account is laughable. I am in political no-mans land by being a gay married Mormon with a temple recommend.  I think I am a little fringe-ie.

Sometimes I sit in the temple wearing the same thing as everyone else and I feel camouflaged for a brief moment. All my issues are made the same - at least on the outside. I could be anyone of the tall, graying dudes there. The only real differences are the ones that the Lord knows about, and He alone is the judge. 

Oh, that we had more of that in the world - a better way to look at ourselves and others.  A safe place to raise our friends and hang out with our families - as is the case in my little circle.

That's a new goal of mine: to make the decisions that count for me, and to be supportive of others when they do the same. regardless of how fringe-ie.

Rise up, O men of God! -- Gentle Masculinity

What an interesting article  from "Religion and Politics".  The following excerpt is from "Why Mormon Men Love “Church Ball” and Are Scared of Homosexuality" By Kristine Haglund | September 10, 2012


GENTLE MASCULINITY

"When the women of the church convene for their annual meeting in Salt Lake City, they are likely to hear things like:

“Sisters, we love you. We pray for you. Be strong and of good courage. You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses, destined to become queens.” And they may be gently admonished to refrain from gossip or increase their self-esteem.

Fine and not so fine lines

Yet men are often bluntly castigated over the same pulpit for using pornography, abusing women and children, and otherwise failing, as the late Mormon Church President Gordon B. Hinckley declared in 2006, to “‘Rise up, O men of God!’ and put these things behind you.”

Mormons learn early that “maleness” is by nature potentially sexually dangerous. These lessons begin with the Book of Mormon itself. “For the natural man is an enemy to God,” Mosiah 3:19 reads, “and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man.” This “putt[ing] off the natural man” requires a total prohibition of sexual activity before marriage and strong taboos against masturbation.

Obedient Mormon boys are thus excluded from their peers’ conversations about sexual discovery. Participating in the casual misogyny and homophobia typical of teenage boys’ locker rooms induces discomfort and guilt in a boy who regularly hears admonitions to abstain from sex of any kind before his wedding night—with himself or anyone else.

Mormon boys might laugh at or even tell gay jokes, but they cannot brag about how far they’ve “gone with the girl” or what they’re planning to do with their prom dates. For a Mormon boy, becoming a Mormon man means not becoming a man, at least not the “natural man” engendered by the adolescent onslaught of testosterone. This means that, perhaps paradoxically, while most

Mormons would assert that both biology and God establish gender at birth, Mormon men’s experience of masculinity is highly performative. They learn that the natural tendencies of maleness must be subjugated to religious principle.

This performance is taught most intensively during the two years of missionary service that devout Mormon men undertake, most often beginning at age 19. Two-by-two, Mormon men knock on doors or pass out church pamphlets and Books of Mormon on street corners. During their mission, they are instructed never to be apart from the companion. They eat, work, pray, and sleep “in the same room but not in the same bed” with their companion.

Missionaries are even instructed to conduct a weekly “companionship inventory,” the instructions for which read like a self-help book for married couples: “Discuss the strength of your relationship with your companion. Discuss any challenges that may be keeping your companionship from working in unity or from being obedient.”

This intense camaraderie combined as it must be among celibate 19- and 20-year-old men with sexual repression, is Mormon men’s induction into masculinity. In this context of profound homo-social bonding, they learn that masculinity is both a privilege and a danger. It is something to be controlled and sublimated to religious ideals of gentleness that are, in many other contexts, coded feminine.

If, on the one side, the danger is giving into the “natural man”—becoming promiscuous or abusive—on the other side the danger is that one might become too gentle and meek...

The performance of Mormon masculinity is a difficult balancing act, a tightrope walk between poles established by a brutish, hyper-masculine “natural man” and an effeminate gay man."

Communication, gentlemen!

With kid drama, parent drama, ward and neighbor drama beating us over the head, sometimes being able to voice a concern is crucial. Communication is key. 

And not sinking.  Not sinking is good as well.