Gay Mormon Man / PriesthoodMen: Staying With Nancy

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Staying With Nancy

It was red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach...

I learned several things this Sunday.

1: The easiest way to keep me from making any comments in Sunday School is to keep holding church at 9:00 in the morning.

2: Hot glue can hold anything for extended periods of time if enough is used.

3: Doing the right thing may not bring instant rewards.

I think of Joseph (of Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat fame) and his experience with Potiphar' wife, Nancy. Joesph tries to remove himself from temptation and makes a run for it. He does what he thinks is the right thing, does his Heavenly Father proud and gets jail time in one mighty whoosh of his Egyptian man-skirt. There were so many reasons for him to justify what would have been a moral transgression. (I myself may have latched onto justification-number-one that said that I could either end up dead or with Nancy.)

Joseph did the right thing by leaving Nancy in the dust. And what was his reward for being virtuous?

Of course, it all ends up happy with Joesph as ruler, brothers put in their place, Nancy out of the picture, Potiphar apologizing, and a real big all-cast production number & review of some of the best songs Andrew Loyd Weber has churned out.

There are some of us that try every day to make what our heart tells us is the right decision and never get either the production number or to try-on the multi-colored coat. Some feel like they don't ever make it out of prison.

And sometimes we think that being gay is a prison.

I know the feeling - or at least know what it feels like to try to do what I feel is the right thing. There was a time when I prayed and prayed and tried so hard to be straight. And then I prayed more and screwed up more and prayed again.

So, what is the reward of not having sex outside of marriage? Current wisdom will mock and call it a waste of time, or say that one is not being true to self or authentic, or faithful to what you really are. Surly the "Lord" would not put such pressure on one of his children. He would want us to follow whatever path we took. Feeling stifled? Can't do what comes naturally? Step out any follow everyone else!

These are terrific reasons. It would be easier to just stay with Nancy.

Looking back at Joseph, we know that the Lord was with him in prison - which means that he continued in faith to do what he believed to be true. He didn't blame God or start believing in a new god with easier rules. Though there were incredibly tough times for him, he did not veer from his beliefs.

And the Lord was with him.

Even in prison, Joseph was not defeated. He remained faithful to the Lord and to the teachings of his youth. He lived the commandments and made something good of his difficult & trying circumstances.

The world says to give in, or to give up, or to get it on. I want you to know that there are blessings in following the Lord - blessings you may not see right off.

...And purple and white and pink and orange and blue!

6 comments:

rogerMarch 16, 2010 at 2:27 AM
Couldn't sleep tonight. Got on your blog. Thankyou.
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BeckMarch 16, 2010 at 8:11 AM
It should be pointed out that a servant in Joseph's predicament with his boss's wife Nancy, would most likely have been killed for just the accusation made. That he was thrown into prison shows that Potipher really did know the true character of Joseph (and Nancy) and knew the truth, and thus didn't order him killed. Further, it shows us that there is a greater plan in order even when we don't see the bigger picture.

I posted about this recently, too.
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AnonymousMarch 16, 2010 at 9:26 AM
Now I've got that stupid soundtrack running through my head. Go go go Joseph! (or Cal)
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jeff mMarch 16, 2010 at 8:57 PM
It takes a real man of men to wrasstle - with a goat! I agree with you and beck - there is a higher purpose - even if we dont se it. Faith promoting story. Thanks
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HarvndMarch 19, 2010 at 9:17 AM
Mr.Calvin, an nClined

While I don't quite get a dilemma here, you can't just get a job that doesn't persue your brain with any emotional attachment...to discover you arent' actually gay, just exposed to aThe Trigger happy sort with that equally supposed need to address ALL of humanities concerns with thr Gadgetry? Not all spiritual people who follow doctrines and with musical art/propencity be GAYS. The aJUST be artsy. That's the part of your brain that doesn't address a pure MATH-accountancy ONLY need...when it melds with theatre, music, drawings and all that on the daily basis...you can guarantee aThe Male's interp of himself will be to stranger himself through eye's of GAY precept. I'm all the above yet, FEMALE, yet I'm not GAY...WHY? because my human form doesn't address each emoting dilemmeurree with any spazztic reactional penis-employed mechanism making one FEEL he's supposed to respond with that THANG. It's not the HOLY undone, it's the UnDone'd Wholesome.

What beez I saying against you for? I'm NOT. I am just against your NOT knowing that it was aTHE MOTHER in a person's life that controlled them to death to cause a fear for chosing a single mate to suit HER, not him alone. SO, if ANY man could take say 2 or at least that many wives...would he return out of supposed 'gayness' into a realm once thought to have been merely 'taboo' for his realms of peace afford?
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curleyMarch 19, 2010 at 3:42 PM
Wow. What?
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I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agree
or Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Acronyms: SGA, SGB, SGI SGA: Same Gender (sexual) Attraction SGB: Same Gender (sexual) Behavior SGI: Same Gender (gay) Identity

OGA, OGB, OGI OGA: Opposite Gender (sexual) attraction OGB: Opposite Gender (sexual) behavior OGI: Opposite Gender (heterosexual) identity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Bisexual: 1) A sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical, mental or romantic attraction to both males and females.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Sentence: “It’s just not coming out”, muttered Sister Macbeth as she compulsively applied spot remover.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Sentence: Sister Fellows always regretted naming her eldest son after her favorite uncle, Gaylord.

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Sentence: “But, Julie,” Cal whined, “I simply don’t have an inoffensive sentence for the word gender.”

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.