Married Mormon Homo

I print something like this every three months or so because I want people to know exactly where I stand...and exactly where I do not.

I am a Married Mormon Homosexual man. A MarMoHo. I have to hold my breath after saying those words. Someone usually makes a break for it or coughs up a lung.

I couldn't have mentioned my sexuality openly in the recent past without the women gathering their young-ones to their side or the men folk brandishing their muskets. The none-pioneer, modern day 3-D equivalent is just as bad: Distrust, Disdain, and Disinfectant.

And I am in the closet. The walk in to be exact. That is where my office is since I had my oldest daughter move back in with two and a half grand kids. Don't ask.

Add cottage cheese and pineapple

I have always been a homosexual Mormon man, though the specific age has varied – man child, young man, college man, taxpayer man, and now sorta old ma... never mind. By the same token, I have always been a Mormon of the “dyed in the wool, true blue, through and through” variety. 

So far, I can't be shaken (knock on wood or wood by-products). I was born into an LDS family and through pain, pride and prayer I have always come back to my Church - sometimes from a great distance, sometimes not.

I am so proud of my religion that I don’t care what others call it; Mormon, LDS, or Latter-day Saint, nor do I care about the popular misconceptions. I was once asked on my mission if I was embarrassed that the Spanish definition of the word "Mormon" was “a polygamous sect”.

No I wasn't embarrassed. I was a Mormon, I knew what it truly meant to be a Mormon, and I was proud of my heritage – regardless of what others thought. This made it easier to take when I was asked about my wives ( I rattled off some horribly ugly made up names until they laughed, and then I told them, to my companions disdain, what chores I had assigned them. I responded in a friendly way to "hey you J-dub", or “Hola CIA.”

Once I was asked if I would put 100 Lempira on Honduras in the World Cup -- like I had a special gringo bookie.

Call me anything these days – as long as you call, and I will tell you how vital to me my membership is in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

By the same token, my homosexuality – like my religious beliefs, has never been a question for me. I am tall, I am a Mormon, I am slightly arrogant, I like tangy taffy and I am homosexual. My attraction, regardless of whatever popular semantic assigned it, has been such from the beginning.

I am proud of who I am. And yet, you may have noticed that I am writing this blog, and an upcoming book, anonymously. Why do I go by Calvin Thompson and not my real name?

It is true, I haven't gone to much length to keep my identity known, and anyone who wants to putting in the effort could figure it out in a hurry.

Frankly I am more than OK putting my name out as a MarMoHo but my wife is not, and while she does not, I will not do it. But I have been around the proverbial block and someone should benefit from all the millage.