Stake President: in the hospital corridor: hit to the nards.

In the past several days I have been occupied as a mostly-human pin cushion at a Timpanogos Regional Medical Center. While I lay there trying to override my fear of enclosed spaces by mulling over my daughter's thought process in loaning me her stuffed ninja turtle, I thought about a lot of things.

Here is a short list of things I didn't think about while I was in the ICU for a few days.

I didn't think about the press release by the LDS church about religious rights. Didn't consider how many are up in arms trying to ensure that Mormons don't have a say in their marriage, or how Mormons are trying to protect their temple sealing

I didn't think about John Dehlin and his excommunication.

As gay as I am, I didn't think about LGBT rights or changes in how we write these rights down.

I did think of my bills and wondered how on earth I was going to get them paid. I thought of my daughter who is moving back in with two kids and a husband who disappears for a day or two and reappears as if all were normal.

I thought about the weather and it it was warm enough to re-paint the house and how I was going to lead the choir for ward conference in a hospital gown.

I barely thought about why BYU sports can be so brilliant one minute and then loose to a team like the Contra Costa Community Brown Rice the next.

Most of all I thought about my family and how my ailment would effect them. I thought of my wife who wouldn't get any sleep. And then I re-thought the bills thing.

I thought of my marriage and how my wife had threatened to kick our stake president in the nards if I died before he finished getting our temple sealing approved.

Now that I am back on the other side of the river, I will look up what happened to Brother Dehlin and see what new outrageous things was said from the extreme left or the extreme right about it. I will probably have a say.  In the meantime I have bills to pay and a wife to treat to a late Valentines day.

Who says that MarMoHos can't have a good life?

Married Mormon Homo

I print something like this every three months or so because I want people to know exactly where I stand...and exactly where I do not.

I am a Married Mormon Homosexual man. A MarMoHo. I have to hold my breath after saying those words. Someone usually makes a break for it or coughs up a lung.

I couldn't have mentioned my sexuality openly in the recent past without the women gathering their young-ones to their side or the men folk brandishing their muskets. The none-pioneer, modern day 3-D equivalent is just as bad: Distrust, Disdain, and Disinfectant.

And I am in the closet. The walk in to be exact. That is where my office is since I had my oldest daughter move back in with two and a half grand kids. Don't ask.

Add cottage cheese and pineapple

I have always been a homosexual Mormon man, though the specific age has varied – man child, young man, college man, taxpayer man, and now sorta old ma... never mind. By the same token, I have always been a Mormon of the “dyed in the wool, true blue, through and through” variety. 

So far, I can't be shaken (knock on wood or wood by-products). I was born into an LDS family and through pain, pride and prayer I have always come back to my Church - sometimes from a great distance, sometimes not.

I am so proud of my religion that I don’t care what others call it; Mormon, LDS, or Latter-day Saint, nor do I care about the popular misconceptions. I was once asked on my mission if I was embarrassed that the Spanish definition of the word "Mormon" was “a polygamous sect”.

No I wasn't embarrassed. I was a Mormon, I knew what it truly meant to be a Mormon, and I was proud of my heritage – regardless of what others thought. This made it easier to take when I was asked about my wives ( I rattled off some horribly ugly made up names until they laughed, and then I told them, to my companions disdain, what chores I had assigned them. I responded in a friendly way to "hey you J-dub", or “Hola CIA.”

Once I was asked if I would put 100 Lempira on Honduras in the World Cup -- like I had a special gringo bookie.

Call me anything these days – as long as you call, and I will tell you how vital to me my membership is in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

By the same token, my homosexuality – like my religious beliefs, has never been a question for me. I am tall, I am a Mormon, I am slightly arrogant, I like tangy taffy and I am homosexual. My attraction, regardless of whatever popular semantic assigned it, has been such from the beginning.

I am proud of who I am. And yet, you may have noticed that I am writing this blog, and an upcoming book, anonymously. Why do I go by Calvin Thompson and not my real name?

It is true, I haven't gone to much length to keep my identity known, and anyone who wants to putting in the effort could figure it out in a hurry.

Frankly I am more than OK putting my name out as a MarMoHo but my wife is not, and while she does not, I will not do it. But I have been around the proverbial block and someone should benefit from all the millage.

Popular Questions, unpopular answers

Popular question:  Does the Mormon Church allow gay people full benefits of participating in their organization?

My answer:  Yes. I am gay and I have a temple recommend. To have "temple privileges," and full membership status, one needs to follow the law of chastity. They must also pay tithing (10 percent of their income) to the church, and must attend church regularly on whenever possible.

Many do not choose to qualify for temple privileges for whatever reason, and no one is going to put them down or consider them faulty or unbelieving. Mormons do not look down on anyone who is not interested in attending the temple. 

OK, there are a few people who do but they are, for lack of a better term, ignoramuses and one is not concerned about their opinion. These are often the same people who look down their noses at tattoos, the smell of cigarette smoke and tube tops. 

I have no problem with a tube top or a correctly punctuated tat.

Being able to enter a LDS temple is something most members of the LDS church look forward to and prepare for. The qualifications to enter the temple in question form are available on the internet. I tried to put a few of them here, but it just didn't feel right.

Know this: If you follow the rules regardless of color, race, sexual preference, or political persuasion (I am probably leaving somebody’s category out) then you can have a temple recommend. It’s that simple. 

It’s not simple at all, but it's that universal.

Is someone who chooses not to follow these rules discriminated against or subjected to unequal treatment? I say no. If I want a driver’s license, I know what rules I need to follow. If I want a Labrador, I know what hoops I need to jump through to get one responsibly and maintain the pet legally. It is not an injustice perpetuated toward me if I am not willing to do what it takes. 

If I do not follow the rules, should I have the license or the pet? I say no. 

A temple recommend is not a right.  Membership in the LDS church is not a right. It is an option, an opportunity and a privilege for those who value it.

Choosing to do or to do otherwise is a right.

No gay rights or Mormon rights this year in Idaho!

This week Idaho lawmakers stopped a bill in its tracks that would have created protections for GLBT communities. The proposed legislation would have added sexual orientation and gender identity into Idaho’s Human Rights Act.  Idaho GLBT rights groups have been trying for nine years to get legislation before their lawmakers. 

All of this comes two days after the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- of which I am a proud and loyal member, announced that it supported much of the nondiscrimination legislation presented by various states and municipalities.This latest bill would have granted job and housing protections for gay and transgender people.

I have been at the top  of the Idaho State
Capital Dome looking down.  Almost puked.

Idaho is the first state with an established Mormon population to have considered such a bill since the LDS church's announcement. Idaho's House State Affairs Committee consists of the Legislature’s conservative lawmakers and includes several Mormons. They voted 13 to 4 to prevent the bill from moving to the House floor effectively killing the bill and sucking the juice out of it. 

Keep reading, however for the silver spud lining.

The vote was split right down party lines -- Republicans opposing it and Democrats voting in favor of the bill. Bills of this nature are usually not revised and presented again in the same legislative section, so we are probably looking for something similar to be presented next year.

Tangent Alert: Next year. Perfect for doing what will be needed to get this through Idaho's house and senate. "What will be needed to pass a non-discrimination bill?" you ask? Blessed little.  I think it would have passed had the Churches announcement not come out ironically.  I think Mormon Republicans quickly pulled back to make sure that the "religious legislation passed as well - so they will go back and add that section to the bill and it will pass with many rainbow colors flying. It will read something like this -- gays can't be kicked out of their jobs or their apartments for being gay, and neither can Mormons for being Mormons, or Catholics for being Catholic, etc. Yes, we have gotten to the point where we have to legislate kindness, and dang it if we aren't going to. End of Tangent. Amen.

Monday's testimony in Idaho's State capital included an account by a transgender teenager who told of having been referred to as "it" by grade school teachers.  Several heartfelt storied were presented to the lawmakers and to more that one thousand visiting the capital to support the bill.

And now for...whatever this is:

Republican Representative Ken Andrus said this concerning the bills failure to pass: "If we pass the bill today as it is worded, it would create a barrier between you folks in favor of adding the words and the so-called straight community and it will be a giant step backwards, not forwards."

Let me rephrase that statement for those of you scratching your heads.

"If we pass this law it is just going to annoy the straight folk."  

Coming from a long line of straight Mormon folk -- a lot of us/them deserve to be annoyed. Not making waves is no excuse for allowing discrimination based on race, sex, color, religion, sexual preference or gender identity in situations of housing or employment.

Republican lawmakers said they worried the measure would lead to lawsuits against those who refused services to gay and transgender people based on religious beliefs  Maybe so. Therefore, let's add them as well!  Sign us all up. Grant protections to everyone. (We should have just allowed rights and respect to everyone from the beginning, but, heck, we can do it now with very little skin off of our nose.)

So, add religious people to those who want rights, and why not.

Doesn't everyone deserve them?