Gay Mormon Man / PriesthoodMen: Proposition Ate My Homework -Revised

Friday, January 29, 2010

Proposition Ate My Homework -Revised

Should Gay Men Marry Men?

I'm not sure I am up to this essay. I posted it, un-posted it and here it is again. Taking a stand is better left for the smart and strong. Honestly, I feel as nervous as Obama without a teleprompter. (Had to work that in)

Let's jump right into it. Is there a god? Does god have the power and knowledge we usually associate with someone so omnipotent and ominous? Would he have the authority and knowledge to establish structure?

If the answer to the above is yes, then are we/can we be privy to his mind/will?

I say "Yes" to all the above. I believe that God does have the power (Reminds me of He Man). I believe that he is all-knowing. And I believe that he can communicate his will to those on earth, and that he does so through his prophets.

Imagine that, if you are saying “neigh” to the general thought process of most of the world, and that you do, for the sake of argument, believe in God, and that he knows everything, and that he can tell us what he knows and that he does this through a dude in SLC – Thomas S Monson today, and before that Gordon B. Hinkley.

If we believe this, then do we choose to follow the prophet or no? And what does that mean? Does following the prophet mean that I have to create or uphold laws that insist marriage is for M and F? If I do that, are my other brothers and sisters screwed? If I had chosen to go a different route and had tried to find a man to be with as a team and partnership and marriage instead of a woman, would I feel the same?

Somehow, I think that no. I would be fighting for my rights. Just as I feel I did in the war in heaven. I was on the side of freedom of choice and you would probably recognize me if the veil was lifted. I fought, and I fought hard. And I don't think Lucifer likes me very much.

Originally at this point, I published the parts 'o the PROCLAMATION ON THE FAMILY. I believe it is scripture - words reveled to the prophet GB "the man Hinkley. I still recommend everyone read it - even if you have in the past, even if you think you know/remember what it says.

Honestly, if you read it without agenda and don't see good in it for families and children, you may be too agnostic to get anything out if this silly blogspot. Even the staunchest gay rights supporters that I know have praised it, at least in theory, for trying to protect the family as an institution. There is a little difference in opinion at one point. Well, not so little. (Name that movie if you can)

I think if we substituted for "Man and a Woman" for something like "those in a committed relationship" (there is a reason I am not a classical or political writer) every reasonable human would applaud - mostly for the reason that it creates safety for children.

I think that most would agree with, and here are a few high points of, the proclamation...

1. ...the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

2. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

3. ...the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between ...those...lawfully wedded...

4. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan....

5. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by... those ...who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

It's like a freaking manual for excellent parenting! Of course, I substituted "Those" for "Man and a Woman" if you remember. But it reads like Dr. Spock or some other scholarly 70's reference equally as vague.

So, where does this leave a hunk of people who want to have families and validate their relationship?

I think that the Proclamation is inspired. Does that mean that I should interpret it to exclude those wanting what I have? In a marriage, I mean? I don't think so.

Could the answers change in the future as it did with the priesthood became available to all worthy men? Maybe. Do I know the reason for a possible future change? No, but I would follow the council and be thrilled for everybody affected. Do I understand why it is what it is? No. I have ideas and opinions though – like everybody who cares. Bottom line for me: I don't know why. I don't know why I don't know or if I ever will know while on this earth.

What if the real test is not who gets married and who doesn't, or who has kids and who doesn't, but how do we treat each other when we have HUGE disagreements over what we think is right.

I am Mormon. I am gay. And I am proud to be a man. And I want to find a way to do this blog-thing so that everyone feels important and validated and loved.

That is all I really know.

Thanks, Michael. I think I got it right...er this time.

5 comments:

dougsJanuary 31, 2010 at 8:00 PM
Bold blog. I think a lot of us are in the position of trying to support what we think is best for families in the long run, and wanting everyone to have rights.
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AnonymousJanuary 31, 2010 at 9:23 PM
Personally, having seen in the annals of history and in real life how many biological families have been destroyed, regrouped with perfect strangers or extended family, finding peace and solace in these souls, I think that "family" any group of people you can actually feel safe and loved. A lot of biological families, including those sealed for time and eternity in the temple living in perpetual hell. My parents were good examples.

Therefore, regardless of sexual orientation, religion, social standing or income level, I think there are safe "families" in each category, as well as unsafe families.

I don't see any reason why gay couples, lesbian couples or any other group of people should be denied the opportunity of raising children, as long as they are safe. I do realize that "safe" could be somewhat controversial, but heck, there are plenty of "good" Mormon couples who are not safe at all in raising children.

I don't think the universe runs just the way that the Mormon church says. It will never add up to me. BUT, having said that, I absolutely support and love all my devout Mormon family and friends. It is about love, afterall....

Thanks for letting me spout. Good thinker, good writing. Sending all best wishes.
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lanceFebruary 1, 2010 at 4:50 PM
I believe the proclamation to be inspired also. I am also leaning to believe that the church as a whole leads for the masses. The Spirit of the Lord directs our lives.
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SeanboyFebruary 3, 2010 at 5:32 PM
Aren't gay couples and lesbian couples able to adopt under current laws? Do you have to be a couple? I have a friend who addopted a kid and he is widdowed. Is it about the kids?
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toe mas ihomaFebruary 21, 2010 at 6:27 PM
For me it realy has become an issue of what is best for the kids. Being as most gay couples are going to have to do something political to get a child, it seems to be a political issue.
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I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agree
or Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Acronyms: SGA, SGB, SGI SGA: Same Gender (sexual) Attraction SGB: Same Gender (sexual) Behavior SGI: Same Gender (gay) Identity

OGA, OGB, OGI OGA: Opposite Gender (sexual) attraction OGB: Opposite Gender (sexual) behavior OGI: Opposite Gender (heterosexual) identity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Bisexual: 1) A sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical, mental or romantic attraction to both males and females.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Sentence: “It’s just not coming out”, muttered Sister Macbeth as she compulsively applied spot remover.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Sentence: Sister Fellows always regretted naming her eldest son after her favorite uncle, Gaylord.

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Sentence: “But, Julie,” Cal whined, “I simply don’t have an inoffensive sentence for the word gender.”

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.